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1 of 1- Mary
- New member
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Sad, sad, sad....
Everyday of my life is sad. I'm coming from a marriage that I thought it was perfect. Then everything fell apart knowing my ex was abusing my son, then finding my ex is bisexual and lately finding that his father touched my daughter when he visited us 7 years ago. (she just disclosed it).
It seems his family has it in their blood. There are many issues on his family. He and his family tried to hide it but now my kids and I are the ones who are suffering all this garbage.
I wake up everyday with pain in my soul. I'm trying to survive the emotional pain but these feelings are too much to my body and my mind.
My ex can see the kids only under my supervision and that make the things more complicated because I have to see him. I need to stop seeing him to be able to move on. On top of everything I'm the one to blame according to him. He still plays with my mind and his anger shows constantly. I need peace. Maybe dying is the only way to find it. How humans beings can be so destructive? How...?
I just need to vent here.
Sometimes I don't want to live. I used to be a very joyful person but now to find joy is very difficult. I know there should be something good on this but I can't see it right now. Any thoughts?
Thank you for reading.
- lily
- Member
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Re: Sad, sad, sad....
Hi Mary,
the only thoughts I have are not much - that was a good summary of your position and it sucks. Emotional pain can be eased by curling up on the bed and letting yourself drift into your safe place where you feel relaxed and happy. Problems can turn into solutions and love and trust can win the hour and your body will thank you for it.
Then cut yourself some slack. Don't expect much of yourself at all. Things is tough. You have your children to look after and that is good. They are lucky to have you.
all the best.
- Sue
- Member
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Re: Sad, sad, sad....
Mary,
Have you seen a psychiatrist for meds? With this trauma, it could help.
I understand how you feel -- joy seems like an impossible thing when we're going through this. My hope is, as others who are further along in their journey have posted, that it does come back.
Sue
"You want a man who messes up your lipstick, not your mascara."
- Rob
- Member
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Re: Sad, sad, sad....
Seeing our demon exs sucks.
My demon lezex is on her way home..my home. She won't move out yet.
I can feel my chest tightening up already after a nice day with my one kid and a yoga class. I try to ignore her.
You need to live...our kids bind us to this earth. Find strength to endure him in knowing your kids need one one strong moral parent. Endure the evil for them.
Keep doing small things for your self each day. They will add up. Find a safe place for you and your kids. You are their protector and rock.
PS. He's a sicko but don't let him define you.. write back here for support.. god wants you to live. I want you to live.
Last edited by Rob (June 26, 2016 9:00 am)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Turmoil
- Unregistered
Re: Sad, sad, sad....
Hon it must hurt like hell, but you are strong and your kids need you more than ever. Make you and them your focus. Be positive and you'll get through it. Death is no answer as your kids could do without their mum dying when they really need you (even if they behave as if they don't) and they are young and have their whole lives in front of them. Good luck x
- Dee
- Member
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Re: Sad, sad, sad....
Oh Mary,
I'm SO sorry for new trauma for you and your kids, but thank goodness your daughter felt safe enough with him out of the house to tell you what happened. Are there any other arrangements that can be made for supervised visitation other than you? i know you are sad, you have every right to be, but just remember how strong you are too. That's what you are showing your kids now, look at all you have accomplished so far! Just keep pushing through, but be kind and care for yourself too, it's just as important. Take meds if you need to, and remember to breathe....Don't give him anymore power over your life or emotions. Hugs
- Still Wondering
- Member
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Re: Sad, sad, sad....
Oh Mary, I'm so sorry to hear this. Is there any way the court can assign someone to supervise his visits? You're right, there is no reason you should be put through seeing him. Have you told your attorney about his father yet? These kids shouldn't have to see this family ever again.