You work days and he works nights.  I am going to assume that you get the kids ready and off to school in the morning and then go to work and that your H then has the responsibility to pick the kids up from school in the afternoon while you are at work and before he goes to work.

Picking the kids up from school is his responsibility then. Have the school contact him, not you when he fails to pick them up.  Let him deal with his responsibility and with the consequences of his inaction. If he cannot pick them up then let him find an alternative ride home for the children.  If he cannot pick them up have him find an after-school program, activity, or sport that he can routinely pick them up afterwards.  Basically stop covering up for him and stop enabling him.

Your job and workday should not be interrupted and interfered with so he can partake in some "afternoon delight".

I know that you do not want to leave your children in a lurch.  But how many times would your H leave them deserted if he had to deal with the teachers, principal, and school himself?  My guess is that if he had to deal with the mess he is creating just once or twice, then he would be on time from then on.  

However, if this is not a fight you want to enter into right now (because you are contemplating divorce) then arrange other means of transportation for the kids.  This could be another parent, friend, family member, or neighbor, public transportation, or private cab/uber.  If you have to pay money for the transport them document it so you can claim it as an expense in the divorce.  Perhaps if he has to pay for transportation and/or after-school care he will step up to the plate and be on time.

Last edited by WendiT (September 27, 2016 1:47 pm)

Yeah its a mindf**k.  We know what they are doing but the kids don't know or care.

Toward the end of my divorce  my lezex would stay out all night.  She would make sure when she waltzed in the next morning she had a treat or present for the kids.
Mother of the year ..out all night but here's McDonald's. .this makes what I'm doing right and moral.

Stoic we must be..small steps.

Last edited by Rob (September 27, 2016 11:09 pm)