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July 13, 2020 6:04 pm  #21

Re: Question for a straight man

If there's one thing I've learned, it's "trust your gut".  It sounds like you seem to already know the answer to "is he gay?"

Having said that, manscaping is not an automatic sign of being gay.  As a straight male, I landscape because I ride bicycles and motorcycles and have found it much more comfortable when I'm groomed. Sorry if that's TMI!


July 15, 2020 1:52 pm  #22

Re: Question for a straight man

Wow, your list is pretty conclusive. You came up with things I hadn’t thought of, and it bumped my list of “reasons to leave” up to 105. I would hope you don’t have to stay in your situation until you have years to accumulate 105 reasons... I tell myself one reason is enough to leave. I haven’t even put some things on my list, because I’m keeping it related to his gay or trans in denial side.

I think the common theme to a sudden interest in “manscaping” is that it’s usually (always?) for a reason. Did he suddenly take up swimming or cycling? If he’s not doing it for you, it’s for some other reason. My husband took my epilator and did his whole area down there and wanted me to praise him....he also told friends about it and wanted their attention. He kept praising himself, he was far more impressed and excited with himself than he ever has been when I got waxed or epilated for him. He definitely only did it for attention.


July 31, 2020 2:43 pm  #23

Re: Question for a straight man

Hello everyone! Sorry for being gone for a while. I second guess myself constantly and it causes me to wonder if I should be on this website at all. But of course, the confusion, the second guessing, is a symptom of the straight spouse, so here I am.

ODAAT, No he is not cycling or swimming. He wants me to comment on how good he looks. I had the same experience you did, when I did some of my own shaving/waxing. He didn't really care, one way or another.

Thanks 99bob for your insight. I have been trusting my gut and my body in general. Not TMI at all...ha!

     Thread Starter

August 6, 2020 9:38 pm  #24

Re: Question for a straight man


The GIDXH didn’t manscape, but asked for a lot of reassurance (a few times a week) that he looked good. I had a live-in boyfriend & other long term boyfriends who only asked this before a big event.

His aunt & uncle complimented me once.  He became hurt & asked me don’t I look good? 

I hope things are clearer for you.

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

August 8, 2020 11:15 am  #25

Re: Question for a straight man

Yes, my husband constantly needs reassurance about his appearance! Thanks for your response.

     Thread Starter

August 14, 2020 5:38 pm  #26

Re: Question for a straight man

Manscaping: Very common and more common in younger men. Source: Google

You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 

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