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It was my mom who brought it up that my Boyfriend might be gay,then I thought about it for awhile, started piecing things together,things he said/did,his whole behavior,it all fit,after almost a decade together he suddenly grew cold/distance,told me things that made me feel I wasn't good enough for him,at one point he told me he had fantasies about hurting me,beating w/a belt and taking me in the behind roughly whether I wanted it or not (which he knew I was adverse to anyways,and sorry if that was too explicit),then started talking about a guy at work,that he wanted to go hiking,hunting,camping,etc with,even began going out of his way to take him to work,take him home from work, He began hiding in his truck texting,I believe it was this man he worked with,when I questioned him about every time he did it which was a lot, he ignored me,and even told my dad "I enjoy doing things with John" and I was told there was a "perkiness" in his tone for the lack of a better word, after that he just started coming home late giving me lame excuses even a kid could see through,now that he's moved out I have questions and when I talk to him he acts annoyed like I'm a nuisance when I feel he owes me an explanation after nearly 10 years together.
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It's pretty common for these guys to deflect attention from themselves by attacking us. He's probably gay, but even if he isn't -- whatever explanation there is for his secretive behavior, he's cheating on you and abusing your trust.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
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You're saying pretty much what everyone I've talked to have said,but I do plan on confronting him,not aggressively,I may or may not get any answers,but hes the type of person that body language gives away everything,pretty much can read him like a book