Wow.  Some of Johnny's body language, in the beginning of the video, reminded me of my husband.  

I’m curious... why couldn’t he get a gay sugar daddy? Was it his narcissism? My GIDH can usually get people to like him short term, he’s an extremely well hidden narc, but he can’t carry through on longer friendships/ relationships. He gets exhausted trying to pretend to be normal, and in group gatherings prefers to hang out with the kids who won’t expect adult behavior and can be easily distracted by funny videos in his phone.
My kids have no idea it’s not normal that he absolutely can’t walk past a pretty article of clothing without trying it on... as a “joke” of course.
Mine has always been and will always be in hiding because he’s terrified of his brothers. One is an angry dysfunctional punk type (hates gays and everyone else) and one is a narrow minded judgmental religious type. My GIDH was going to rocky horror every week since he was 12, but that was his only outlet. He has a story he tells people... that he liked it because he got to see the women in corsets. But he really liked to dress up AS a woman in a corset.

walkbymyself,
  For my ex it's the potential for discovery and punishment that's the thrill.  He even told me this once, and wanted to incorporate it into our sex life.  
  Although homo/trans phobia is used as a blanket explanation (excuse), the motivation for some of our partners is not fear of homo/trans phobia, and I wish that were more recognized.  And homo/trans phobia is never a justification for lying, cheating, and deception; everyone has a choice, and what choice you make and how you justify it is an index to your character.