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1 of 1- Daisyduke
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Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
I'm out of state alone at a conference and know only two people minimally.
I feel very alone. I am isolated in my life. Work fills in the spaces. I want this dream to end and someone to tell me it's all a dream.
I couldn't eat much today, I ate no sugar and didn't snack my way through the day. That felt good. I've gained about 20 pounds since August last year when my fiancé and I moved in together prepping to marry.
I just want him to hug him and be held.
- CES
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Re: Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
Daisyduke wrote:
I'm out of state alone at a conference and know only two people minimally.
I feel very alone. I am isolated in my life. Work fills in the spaces. I want this dream to end and someone to tell me it's all a dream.
I couldn't eat much today, I ate no sugar and didn't snack my way through the day. That felt good. I've gained about 20 pounds since August last year when my fiancé and I moved in together prepping to marry.
I just want him to hug him and be held.
Sorry you're in a tough spot tonight :/
- Rob
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Re: Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
Not alone. You have yourself and a god.
I never liked business trips either and avoided them for my now ex. The few I went on she thought I enjoyed.
Now it's just me in an empty house..just me and the kid on my days. Just me is ok now...away from lies and abuse.
Give yourself time..and compassion..your only alone for now. Much better company to yourself than a lying fiancé or spouse.
Last edited by Rob (September 23, 2016 6:37 am)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Kel
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Re: Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
I think any trip away from the normalcy of home and routine can feel like that. Don't take it to mean more than it does - it's lonely out there alone, with nothing much to do except watch t.v. Maybe see if there's something in the area that you could do as far as sightseeing, and do that? It can't hurt.
Many wishes for healing -
Kel
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
- phoenix
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Re: Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
I'm finding that this process of divorce and losing loved ones is quite the roller-coaster. You will have highs and you will have lows. Know that that those lows will come, but in time they will be less painful. But learn to accept them and know that a high will be just around the corner.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- InHisCloset
- Unregistered
Re: Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
What you write about the sadness of wanting what you can't have strikes home with me. I would very much like to have my husband back, but I'm not getting him. And that loss can feel overwhelming at times. What you long for is what you (thought you) had, and to have lost it is painful. What I tell myself is that this grief is a necessary step in a process of coming to terms with the reality of what I now know, and in healing. I wish you healing, too, and comfort.
- whatasham24
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Re: Tonight I have a growing pit of despair in me
I'm probably too late to the game on this one but i wanted to suggest at least for the next business trip, head to a drugstore before retiring for the night at the hotel & buy a bunch of girly spa stuff. Do your toes a new color, put on a face mask, deep condition the hair, buy a good trash mag or one that is pure escapism & fun to take your mind off the heartache. It becomes especially loud in a hotel room, out of town. I know that one well & the above always worked for me....
ehugs
Sham
Last edited by whatasham24 (September 21, 2016 10:20 pm)