OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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- lily
- Member
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Re: Wife has come out as Bi / Lesbian - Straight Husband wants help
TellMeIamOK wrote:
So an interesting sidebar to all this is that my wife has a lesbian friend.
Wife has set limits and boundaries to this friendship with lesbian friend.
To my knowledge wife has not divulged her possible sexual fluidity. My wife has not come out in public yet.
Wife wants to get together with friend.
If I question and verbalize my misgivings I negate trust, correct?
Not sure if you are looking to me for feedback on this or not so disregard if not but if you are then my feedback is this -
The lesbian friend. Wants to see her, says limits and boundaries are set in place. Okayy.. I suppose you are supposed to not question her and just agree to this because it's her therapy? tbh all I can think is if she wants to go and be with her lesbian friend then why would you want to stop her, other than to say hey what about me?
You need friends in your corner. Any family members you can confide in?
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: Wife has come out as Bi / Lesbian - Straight Husband wants help
Welcome TellMe.
You are ok!
It's good that she opened up to you with some honesty. Just because she is Bi doesn't mean your marriage needs to end. It doesn't mean she will cheat or find a new lover or leave you. It does change the dynamic of your relationship a bit and can add some trust issues as you get used to this new revelation. But a person can be Bisexual and remain in a fully committed and healthy hetero marriage.
So this is my hope for you.
I will give you a warning though. In my experience on this board, most of the stories I hear involve a slow admission where the spouse claims to be bisexual at first, then eventually admits (or proves by action) that they are actually gay/lesbian. They think the bisexual admission softens the blow and takes away their guilt for lying about themselves. I truly hope this is not the case for you. If you wife demonstrates a healthy sexual appetite towards you, then I would feel like bisexuality is likely true. If you have an unfulfilling sex life and she doesn't show interest or ever initiate anything, then I would be concerned that Bi is actually Lesbian.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.