My story seems to be quite similar to many of these stories. My GIDH and I met in college. He was so attentive even showing up when I was trying to hook up with another person at the time. After showing me that he wanted to be with me, we started spending all our time together. Fast forward a year after dating and finding out that he hooked up with an older man we worked with and a younger kid than us. I was devastated and angry. But with not a lot of self esteem, I let it go and chalked it up to experimentation. Fast forward a few years and were engaged and than married 2 years later. He was also bored just sitting at home and would go out for "drives" for a couple of hours. Never could prove but sometimes would find cigarettes( he doesn't smoke) and wrapped condoms in the back of our car. He would deny something happening and say it must have fallen out of someones bag he gave a ride to. We moved to be closer to my family when we started having children. He was traveling for work and again could not prove anything but I always had my suspicions about what was going on while he was away and I was home with 3 very young children. In the last few years it has become more and more evident. He does not allow me to look at his phone but when I have gotten into it, there have messages from men that he is headed to meet up with. He has had sex with men that he has had as "friends" and brought them into home. When I confronted him about these text messages he tells me that is just how some men talk to each other. Like I'm supposed to believe that. The last straw has become that I was sent evidence from a 3rd party who he was trying to hook up with and even have a 3 way with this person. This person sent me the text from the app. Even on our 24 wedding anniversary he was trying to have a hook up. Come to find out this person was trying to black mail him, but that doesn't change how he has deceived me for so long. I check our phone bills and see the number he is texting. Just wish I could see the texts themselves. He says he has cut all ties with all of these men but it has gone on for so long, I can no longer trust him. He has tried to blame me saying I wasn't giving him the attention he needs and claiming there was abuse when he was younger even though after 25 years he has never mentioned that until this all happened. I should have ended it a long time ago. He also blames me for saying that I put our children first. Ah, yes I will!