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1 of 1- l2cl2c
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So confussed
I have been with my husband for almost 25 years and this year will be our 24th anniversary. We have been through a lot of hard times over the years but always managed to pull through together. Recently I found he was using a live sex chat site. I was very hurt. He told me I was hard to love after putting us through some financial hard times (not all on me but that's where he puts the blame) and due to me gaining some weight. I am working hard on losing the weight to try to help us but just recently discovered his profile where he states that he is a married closeted bi (mostly gay). I was/am in complete shock. I thought he had stopped using the chat site but know he has been on at least twice this month. I have no idea what to do or how to handle this!
- MomOfFour
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Re: So confussed
You are NOT hard to love. He is incapable of loving you fully, as he should, because he is not straight.
There are many here who can help you, you are not alone and you are not crazy. Welcome to the club no one wanted to join. ❤️
- JoeC
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Re: So confussed
You are not alone, we are here to talk and support in anything you need. Most likely this is hard for both of you to talk about, its not something either of you thought about 25 years ago. So many social norms and expectations along the way (at least for me) that got in the way of seeing and discussing what was happening. Write you thoughts down, it may help organize your conversation that you will want to have at some point.
- Ellexoh_nz
- Member
Online!
Re: So confussed
MomOfFour wrote:
.........You are NOT hard to love. He is incapable of loving you fully, as he should, because he is not straight........❤️
What a clear and concise way to say it Mo4
KIA KAHA
- Abby
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Re: So confussed
Don't you have to pay for those live sex chats and if so, doesn't that get expensive? You might want to find out if he is running up debts and put an stop to that pronto.
Having read his description of himself you now know that the problem is not you no matter how much he tries to claim it is. Love yourself and do whatever you need to do to stay sane. We're here for you.
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- Rob
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Re: So confussed
L2,
Its not your weight. Mof4 said it.. he is incapable of loving you fully becauae he is not straight.
His morality is questionable at best also...this you know in your bones.
It's a scary thing..i loved my GX despite her weight..it made no different. That she could discard me and leave me if I got sick,
gained weight, or even remained a devoted husband...its just a scary thing. Incapable of absolute real love ..
Start building your support system and know its not you.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- MJM017
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Re: So confussed
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. The reasons for being disinterested in you are excuses. Men know women are very sensitive about body weight.
My late GIDXH had many reasons to avoid intimacy with me. All lies.
He isn’t straight and never will be. That’s the unfortunate and painful truth. I hope he admits this to you
and spares you further hurt.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- Lyonene
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Re: So confussed
Show him
It is no longer speculation porn use is addictive and causes escalation. Storehouse of scientific studies on this site.
- MJM017
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Re: So confussed
Absolutely about the porn! Thx for the link.
I miss the old days where porn buyers had to face the postal carrier who delivered the mags or the liquor store/sex shop clerks. Shame & embarrassment come to mind!
One sign of a secret online porn habit is a sudden large number of viruses on the laptop or phone. Disable any virus protection they might have on the sly.
The FBI & Europol plant viruses on porn websites. The same porn outfits distribute kiddie porn. (Ewwwwww!) One way to discourage business.
My GIDXH’s laptop had many, many viruses. He wanted me to fix it since I’m handy with tech. I found out the above when I was puzzled why he had so many & I had none.
Last edited by MJM017 (March 13, 2020 4:11 pm)
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa