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1 of 1- BirdSolveig
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Birthday #65
Turned 65 last week and I am very fortunate to have a pretty safe retirement financially. I had feared this birthday but now that's it's over I feel that I have turned a corner. Life goes on. I don't know what to expect as far as a normal male-female relationship goes. It might be nice but maybe being single is nicer? Is it possible at my age? My TGXH coming out over a decade ago was certainly not something I was expecting. I keep kicking myself for marrying him. If I had known about the TG issue back then I'm sure I wouldn't have married him. I am fortunate that I don't have any contact with him now.
Last edited by BirdSolveig (February 18, 2020 11:33 am)
- Abby
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Re: Birthday #65
Happy belated birthday! I'm a few years older than you and since you have a "pretty safe retirement financially" I'd suggest that you think long and hard about remarriage because of the financial risks it poses. Men tend to live shorter lives than women and as a spouse the law imposes responsibilities that a pre-nup does not necessarily cover. Think nursing home expenses and Medicaid rules if you are in the U.S..
When I turned 60 shortly after he moved moved out I thought that I would find someone and remarry but after reading every article I could get my hands on about financial planning for a single senior I instead settled into a "friends with benefits" relationship. Each of us has our own house and we haven't told our respective children. His children will inherit what he has and mine will get what I have. Meanwhile we visit regularly and are happy.
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
Thread Starter- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Birthday #65
I'm 66 and if another relationship is in the cards for me I plan to keep the arrangement similar to yours, Abby. In November 2018 I divorced my trans-identifying husband, and retired six months later, so my focus right now is on rebuilding my life. I, too, Bird Solveig, feel as if I've turned a corner--or several of them.
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (February 25, 2020 8:20 am)
- Abby
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Re: Birthday #65
Reminds me of the words to a Shaker hymn: the melody was used by Aaron Copeland in "Appalachian Spring".
Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
’Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
’Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- Whirligig
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Re: Birthday #65
Happy Birthday! Milestone birthdays can be tricky. They either throw you for a loop or set you free. I've always been single and came in contact with the GID thing through dating (twice to the best of my knowledge). I'm similar in age to MJ. I'm also not likely to try again. Got fed up with the whole process and was devastated by this last experience. I don't mind being alone. I just hoped to find someone who suited me. I'm fairly well-situated and comfortable with being single. Apart from occasional loneliness I just can't be bothered anymore. I'd have preferred love but won't tolerate abuse and lies to get it anymore. There are actually lots of joys in singleness and I'm trying to focus on those. That's more healing for me than focusing on things I lack. I really feel, more and more, that their life will be poorer for not having me in it. I, on the other hand, am starting to feel better and while my life is not as I expected or hoped for, I intend to be as happy as I can anyway! Good luck to you as you start making your own way.