If you want someone to talk to, we can get together on Discord (free app) and chat over the internet. I created a channel called ToughTimesSupport for people to have someone to talk to, vent, and whatever is needed at the time I suppose. https://discord.gg/XuVT25 is the link to it. I'm not always on but send me a private message on here and we can schedule a time to chat.

The loneliness is getting to me these days. First Valentine's Day for me in 27 years where I didn't have a Valentine in my life with which to share it. I tried connecting with some friends of mine and the rules of engagement change. One friend told me "I'm not available to provide you with the emotional support I'm sure you so desperately need right now..." I had only asked her out for 20-30 minutes for a cup of coffee to catch up. I wasn't even planning on telling her my wife had moved out and that we were getting a divorce, I really just wanted to share a cup of coffee and strike up a conversation.

That new set of rules of engagement is a tricky thing for me to navigate these days. Some women don't want to talk to me because I'm in the separated but not yet divorced stage yet. Others have an internal clock that they seem to have where I have to put in 1-5 years of being divorced and single before I am eligible to re-enter the dating pool. Even if I explain that I'm not looking to date, that I just want to have some adult conversation for a few minutes, they treat me like I'm some sort of pariah.

Creating and writing in a journal every day is a great idea! I've been doing it for 3 months now and it has really helped me immensely get through the toughest of days. I generally write in the journal in the evening as I reflect on my day. It helps me vent and get things off my chest so that I don't end up taking that out on people around me. I'm dealing with the issues of a GIDW who had an affair with a man to try and prove to herself and to me that she is straight. I watched a 25-year marriage dissolve as she changed and morphed into a person that now looks like a complete stranger compared to the woman I met 27 years ago. I had to put processing my anger aside when I learned about the affair because she agreed that we should try and reconcile and reconnect. Problem was, she didn't want to break up with her boyfriend at the time... so we were going through marital counseling while she was still seeing her boyfriend. She never truly wanted to reconcile she just was biding her time until she built up the courage to walk out and go it alone. Now that we have separated and are getting a divorce, I am finally processing the anger issues of the affair and writing in a journal has helped me immensely with that! I don't have a public journal, I just write in a Word document every day. Nobody but me will ever read my journal.

 

Davin:

I find the "talking" thing with me is an odd thing. I have a good amount of in real life friends and family who are aware of what is going on with me. None know what to say or how to empathize because it is not the "normal" my husband had an affair or he is a drug addict or alcoholic. No one has any experience with my husband wants to be a girl. So, I get a lot of "sympathetic" ears but mostly the why dont you just leave comments. But what they do not get is that I have spent 20 years with him and even though I want to put hot sauce in my eyes and ear plugs in rather than see or hear him we have a daughter so I battle with do I suffer myself or do I rip her life apart? 

Men in general I find fall in two categories. The ones who know think that I can probably have a fling with her because her life is in shams right now or they dont want to touch me with a ten foot pole because of what is going on in my personal life. Or, I feel guilty even having coffee with a guy friend because i am still married even though he goes out to gay bars every month and hangs out with other transgendered women like himself who I am sure he is hooking up with them. 

You are more than welcome to message me

Me

Davin:

The loneliness is the worst part.  Even though we know we’re better off without them and the abuse it’s hard to be alone after such a long term marriage.  Mine was about the same as yours and a similar experience of marriage counseling while he was carrying on an affair. We actually went to a church sponsored marriage encounter and he had been texting the OP that morning! Its crazy how many of these stories are similar.  It’s like they all get issued a play book or something.

You know what's worse than Valentine's Day?  New Year's Eve.

I have very little patience for these guys wallowing in self-pity because they think they want to be female.  Wanna be female?  Just take a 30% cut in pay.  That's what being female is.  Work twice as hard so that everyone else can take credit for your accomplishments.  Come home to the kids and work an entire second shift wrangling dinner and homework and housework while your spouse watches TV.  That's being female.