I would say, like everyone on here has said, that it really is an individual thing. For me, I would say it was about the 6 month mark. I had been married for 29 years and his coming out had been a complete shock ... he only told me because he had contracted Chlamydia. I felt like a hamster on a wheel for those early months, how, why, when, how could he, etc.... but at about the 6th month mark, I distinctly remember having a huge light bulb moment .. "If my life is going to get completely flipped around and fucked up, then dammit, I am going to take charge and really change it up!". I then proceeded to pack up anything in the house that I wanted to keep and put it in storage. I booked an apartment in Paris for a month and found a house to move to in a different "sunny" state for after I returned from Paris.
I have had moments of looking back at memories, etc... but, my life is amazing and it is all mine! I wouldn't change a thing! So, my point is... take charge... go for it... at this point, what do you have to lose? But, you have a lot to gain ... your future!!