Friends of mine have had some luck with Bumble. The women make the first move (in terms of messaging), so it’s less pressure. They also have a friend matching feature, which I think I’ll try since I just moved to a new city. Good luck!! <3

Whatever you try, be careful. Generally speaking, there's the public persona and then there's the real person. Get to know the real person before getting too serious with someone on any dating site.

Be aware there are sharks in the water. Watch out for someone who tells you little about themselves or seems like they are telling you what it seems like you want to hear. Know that no one falls into unrequited undying admiration based on a text message or a phone chat. There are predators out there who try to go from zero to 100 as fast as possible and speedily love-bomb you into a relationship. These people are often very narcissistic and looking for a new conquest or victim. They may be similar to other in-denial spouses here, looking for a new beard to appear straight. Then there are financial scammers whose end goal is to separate you from money. Often they are overseas and using fake photos and profiles. Usually they make contact with you, quickly try to get you to communicate with them away from the dating site using some version of instant messaging. Then later they need money, to travel to meet you, for some business opportunity that just "fell" in their lap or some other bogus excuse.

I'm not saying dating sites should be avoided. Just be careful out there. When you meet people in everyday life, you don't have to wonder if that's their real photo and you can also pick up on subtle clues from things like body language and vocal cues. None of that exists on dating sites.

One more thing - there seems to be an unwritten rule on dating sites that if someone contacts you, and you're not interested, the rule seems to be "don't reply, ever". When this happens to you, don't fret about it and move on. I suspect the reason no one wants to reply back to say "thanks but no thanks" is that some people don't take rejection well and then proceed to harass the subject about it. "Why not? What's wrong with me? If you met me once then maybe... etc." Pretending not to have ever seen the original contact is less hassle.

Last edited by Daryl (December 26, 2019 1:16 pm)

I have been told that religiously-oriented websites attract men looking for women who will be trusting and easier to deceive. Some have same-sex attractions which they do not want to acknowledge because of their religious beliefs.Some have never had a successful long-term relationship with the opposite sex which after a certain age suggests something major is going on there even if they truly are straight. 

It is probably best not to put yourself out there while you are trying to heal. Your vulnerability weakness will be particularly attractive to those who want to take advantage of you.