OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 of 1- ca32128
- Member
Offline
How to trust again
So, I am moving out this weekend for good and I think he will be moving back to Texas (we currently both live in NC, but TX is his home state).
I'm of course thinking about the future and how I don't want all of this to "ruin" me.
How have you all that have been through this moved forward and learned to trust again? How do you know you aren't dating another man/woman that is bi or gay. I have so many fears and don't want to live my life alone because of them!
- WendiT
- Member
Offline
Re: How to trust again
Ca,
Once the healing begins and some time passes, you will begin to have the desire to get out there again. There are guys out there worthy of trust and dating can be fun when you have regained your sense of humor. After TGT I was eventually able to trust again, but not naively or blindly like I had in the past. Where I had once trusted too much, I now trust enough.
I think many of us fear finding another GID or being alone. Those fears are really common after TGT. But, you are one smart strong woman and I think that you will be able to weed out the GID guys from the Str8 ones the next time around. Once you have been introduced to the world of GID it is hard to not see it when it is coming at you.
You have spent some considerable time being gaslighted by a partner you trusted. Time and space away from him will clear your head and make you realize how wonderful you are. You self-esteem will return and when the time is right to start dating again you will know it.
Stay strong this weekend and remember to breathe.
Last edited by WendiT (September 14, 2016 1:20 pm)
"No matter how hard the journey may be, remember to be kind to yourself..."
- ca32128
- Member
Offline
Re: How to trust again
Thank you, WendiT! Your post was very helpful and made me feel hopeful! Hugs!
- •
Thread Starter- WendiT
- Member
Offline
Re: How to trust again
Sending E-Hugs right back at ya, ca.
You can do this and we have your back.
"No matter how hard the journey may be, remember to be kind to yourself..."
- Steve
- Member
Offline
Re: How to trust again
Perfect response WendyT.
They say 'time heals'. I'm not sure that it 'heals' but it at least dulls the pain. In time CA you will feel less broken and a desire will be re-born in you to love and be loved. It might take a while (and you actually should give yourself that time to grieve) but always have at the back of your mind that your ex is not 'everyman'. He's just one messed up guy.
There's plenty of straight guys out there who would love to be loved by you and who will love you back. One day - when the time is right - you might go get one 
You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up.
- Rob
- Member
Offline
Re: How to trust again
I hope to trust again someday.
For now I'm alone..it's just me.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7