I posted this late last night, and still this morning I remember these points below.  For context: these comments are from a woman who knowingly married her gay husband, who was her friend growing up.  Both of them trained as marriage/family therapists, so they communicated and genuinely cared for each other.  The divorce was a joint decision after about 15 years and 4 children (3 children? Not sure).

1- the enormous toll it took on her sense of self, for her husband to not desire her.  Even though she knew it was because he was gay.  She just internalized feelings that she was just not of value as a person.

2-Driving home the lack of reciprocity: how much more difficult the divorce was for her than for her husband.  He said, “I love you as much as ever!  While she had to work to detach and “love him less.”
Now, he is going on happy to explore his new fun life, to celebrate being himself, while she is full of grief, loneliness, anger, severely diminished self esteem, and a faith crisis.

Thanks OMOTF for posting this.  I’ve followed their journey for a while intermittently - if anyone wants to read it, they catalogue it here:  http://www.joshweed.com/. It is interesting how compliant she is with this and while taking responsibility for her decision, it really comes across how the Mormon doctrine basically makes this ‘a thing’ where a gay person can only ever face a life alone, celibate or married to a straight person.  So it for me lays it again back on the doorstep of religious intolerance that is not only in Mormonism, but any religion that has decreed that homosexuality a sin.  So many suicides result from young gay people losing any hope of happiness in this life while maintaining themselves as “good” people.  It really is a life and death sort of issue for some young, religiously devout people.  And I think the idea of Christian compassion here is just so lacking for them, but also for a person like Lolly, who was in love with her husband - good looking, charming, but open and honest about his sexuality and facing a choice of no choice! 

But yes, Ellexoh, that is a mind twist there.  Perhaps she feels because she openly chose to marry a gay man who was honest, she has not been betrayed.  But I would argue that she has been, but perhaps in a wider way by the religion that made this seem like a sensible option at a ‘eternal’ level which she mentions in the interview. 

Recently I’ve been thinking about my own impressions of my GIDX and how I denied the possibility that he was gay despite what some who hear my story have said “WTF” to.  We are in a relationship and often the idea of our spouse and the image they are portraying is just too strong for us to let go of.  I really identified with the whole part where she said she had to love him LESS.   I was not ready when my marriage ended to end the relationship that had been a part of my life for so long, but I had not choice as he left and in a way the lack of communication and simple understanding for my grief was helpful in that it showed me so clearly that I was in denial as a wife betrayed so fundamentally still seeking relationship with a person who valued me so little.  I feel now that my value to him was nearly exclusive to my utility to him.  As a person I mattered very little, my grief, my tears, my heartbreak were equal to his suffering in his eyes.  Lolly Weed is very generous in her interview, but it is clear that her husband has moved swiftly on romantically and that is very painful for her.  As a woman with young children and having the late realization of the hopelessness of her predicament, it is just not as easy as it is for a man.  I think there must be a sense of anger and frustration, but perhaps the betrayal is less.