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1 of 1- StraightSpouse1979
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Simple Things
The simple things seem to hurt me lately. My husband is spending the day with a co worker who said he has been friends with for 8 years. Never even mentioned her name to me before but that is another story. Her husband has her child so she can have a day off and that is being spent with my husband. I asked what they were doing. Big mistake. They are going to the mall. I had ot go myself all the timebecause it was something he hated to do. I know it was proably because he wanted to shop as a female or whatever the story is BUT still another example of how he couldnt sacrifice anything for me while always saying that he sacrificed so much already. I know something so small but its another slap in my face.
- Rob
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Re: Simple Things
I think everything they do is a slap in the face. Cold, without empathy or remorse. Everything would make me shake with trauma.
I referred to it as "the discard". My GX would give excuses like she's allowed to go out. She knew perfectly well she was hurting me..and she didn't care.
Your best recourse is to detach. This is not of your making. I begged for a while. Finally I was like "ok have fun..when can we expect you back"
We can no more control what they do then we can stop a river from flowing..but we would not have built our house on a river if we knew it was there.
Maybe this is/was the acceptance people speak of. They have every right to live their life.. And we have every right to live ours.
Only when I started taking steps to take care myself and the kids did I get some sense of control.
Some sense of my worth .
This is not us leaving them..this is them rejecting us.
Last edited by Rob (August 4, 2019 5:40 am)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Simple Things
I agree with Lynne. It isn't simple, and it's abusive. It's the latest example in a series of them that show that the most important thing in his life to him is himself and his desire to act out his desire to be a woman. He knows you said you won't go out with him in public, so he's found someone else who will. I don't think much of his co-worker, either, who is so eager to step in and be his gal pal.
- MJM017
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Re: Simple Things
SS, I often wonder if their foray into into "adolescent": behavior once we know is their adult choice. The real abusive personality comes out of the closet too.
My exH did the same when discovered. it's a game to see if you'll buckle under their control or leave them.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa