OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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- lily
- Member
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Re: I Don't Know What to Think
yeah really. Go campervanning as if nothing has changed - that is just goo isn't it. I think she is 'managing' you.
And I think this is why it helps so much to talk to other people about it instead of talking to your spouse, it's just more of the same disacknowledgement - she says ohh btw I am gay and you're supposed to say no problem let's have fun double dating?
not right is it.
the positives you listed are good though, and worth looking forward to.
- OutofHisCloset
- Member
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Re: I Don't Know What to Think
What she says she wants today may not be what she wants six months or a year down the line. Please take what she says not as gospel truth but with a grain of salt the size of Gibraltar. My now-ex declared, after I'd turned myself inside out to support his newly disclosed sexuality, "I want to live with you for the rest of my life!" Nine months later he characterized my expression of my doubts and my pain as an attack on him, and thereafter referred to it as "what you did to me."
I posted a link to an article on attachment injury for the wives of men who declare themselves transgender, but I think many of the points are applicable to the spouses of those who declare they are bi, gay, or lesbian, especially the part about how our ideas of our sexuality and selfhood take a huge hit. Here's the link:
Donna Chapman and Benjamin Caldwell: “Attachment Injury Resolution in Couples When One Partner is Transgender”
Journal of Systemic Therapies, Vol 31, No. 2, 2012, pp36-53
(full text of article available online)