OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- Alison
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Last edited by Alison (July 2, 2019 12:13 pm)
- lily
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Hi Alison, I am so sorry you have been so profoundly snowed. cis means comfortable in skin doesn't it.
It amazes me how these transgender people carry on so that you feel guilty for being comfortable in your own skin, and guilty for being heterosexual. It is a common story though. Don't feel self hatred for being caught out, this forum is testament to how effective a snow job it is.
From what I understand, your husband is entering the 'pink fog' of feminisation which will leave you breathless with his selfishness and he is also likely to spend a lot of money doing it so I suggest you focus on your finances right now. You need to protect yourself. He is a user.
wishing you all the best, Lily
- OutofHisCloset
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I'm glad you found this forum. When you read the threads on transgender spouses you will see that you are not alone, and that what you have experienced is not so far from what others have (this includes me). There are also women posting here who knew their partners/spouses were cross dressers when they got together/married them. Don't beat yourelf up over that; knowing that that they cross dress isn't the same as "knowing" what that means! I personally found the posts of whatasham very helpful to me when I first started posting here.
Below I'm going to paste in some resources for you. (FYI: I use the term "trans identified male" rather than "trans woman")
Academic and Professional:
Michael Bailey, "The Man Who Would Be Queen." It's available online and downloadable. Bailey is a research psychologist at Northwestern Univ.
Donna Chapman and Benjamin Caldwell: “Attachment Injury Resolution in Couples When One Partner is Transgender”
Journal of Systemic Therapies, Vol 31, No. 2, 2012, pp36-53
(full text of article available online)
Anne Lawrence, "Men Trapped in Men's Bodies/Becoming What We Love." Lawrence is a trans person and an MD, a psychologist who treated (now retired) trans identified males. Lawrence maintains an online presence and there are articles there.
Memoirs/Accounts by Wives
Those who left:
Christine Benvenuto: "Sex Changes." A memoir
“Naeferty” (a pseudonym) Naeferty ran a blog about her experiences with her own trans identified male partner. Read the post "Gas Mark Six" and the comments. You can search for the post title.
A podcast: How my ex-husband’s transition made me feel
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (July 1, 2019 1:23 pm)