French Canadian Straight woman.Do you want the short version:Im sad my husband Found out.. he is BI 7 years ago. I was happy for him then I realized that my holeeeeeee life was gonna drop in a black hole. I didn’t sign for that I married a loving husband that had eyes only for me. Now he drooling for not only me but mansLong dram version:Total :4 kids from 22 to 11(2 are Canadian 2 are dual citizens Canadian and American.)Married An amazing American with no kids(had 2 together).Met him we were both medium size. We both got very bigger coz we both love to eat (go figure)Sex life went down from having too much weight.He decide he want a PA to get more feeling down there( I assume)so he got it. Told me if I don’t like it when we have intimate stuff he can take it off and put it back. Work for a while until he could not put it back so he stop taking it off.7 years in the marriage he want me to try attaching him  and be his master..  I am a shy person not assertive at all lol. I tried but bossing him around is not my thing. I am not made to be  a master or slave lolWe started to lose weight he started to put make up on here and there( I was shy at first he look like a clown you know like my 11 years old girl that put wayyy too much but it don’t really bother me anymore) well im jealous now he can put a full face on and I cant really tell he is good 😊Then I saw him wear my sport bras in the winter, he told me omg im so much warmer with that. So I felt it was ok since he lost like 80lbs he was always cold and it make him feel good.You know im pretty open mind or just plain stupid I guess. I want him to feel good. He always make me feel good he got my back all the time when my MOM is degrading me. He always buy me clothes to make me feel good with myself.We talk a lot and one night he came with the ideas that coz im the master I should f with others while he look . Well that didn’t really go good in my book. Like many other woman I have been told you get married and you don’t fool around and everything will be ok.  I told him I was not ready for that. So we decided to go read and look in forum about that.Couple month later we end up in a swing forum and making a profile. Everything we ok He started to talk about me making him touch a d.  I didn’t think he would , I thought he was playing is role or something. Our couple was doing fine so for anniversary we made a date with some guy we found on the swing site, play with a couple.  It was weird but I guess its not horrible to try new things. Obviously we made rules for our self. Coz I was not the one that wanted to  try all theses things I was making my limits the rules. Your not allow to: call ,touch, text, meet anyone, or go on the web sites with out me knowing and accepting. One of our talk I ask him are you BI? Because he was always making jokes about S a d or you know… and every time we would have a low time .  He said I think so in a surprised voice.At many time I had to tell him to slow down coz now he put the BI color on is fb page. All is post are about equality and im ok with equality but it’s your sex choice no body other then me that is married to you need to know. He bought some t-shirt BI, cap, last time he put a post on is facebook something like nothing like s a d. WHAT???  Really I told him that was not appropriate he took it down but @%$#^^ my emotion are all over the place. I want him to be happy but I don’t want to loose my best friend/ husband/father of my kids.I don’t think I want to share him coz now he was talking about open couple. I told him don’t think I could f someone else/ after 3 years or nagging me and pushing me in that direction I did do it. There is excitation but no emotion, no release, so for me there is no point of going to see someone else I rather have no sex then having someone else. He ask me if he could be there for one more try. So we did and yes experience was better but he was there with me and he had some fun too and I guess im ok with that.We got our weight back so no more crazy ness just us. Got my husband back wearing makeup but no woman stuff.Now 7 years later he is loosing weight again and here it comes… Now he is in lbgt group and read about it, we go to group (my 3 child Kim decide that she want to be called Zane now at school ) she go to youth group but that’s another add on to my story of craziness.We went to a picnic with the lbgt community. Very cool. The first thing they ask when a couple came to sit at our table is: whos the queer one? Not using thoses words but when My husband said he is BI then it was clear . I felt left out. Like I was the pleg I guess that what queer people feel most of the time. When we said that Kim is the reason we are here they could not understand who that was so we pointed at her and they said ZANE??? Omg that is a smack in the face but its ok.I try to be open mind but now we use to have one couple that use to come here in the summer but now they don’t I assume it was because they didn’t like my husband toes painted in red or orange or that he was wearing a scurt bathing suit in the pool , there lost if they can be happy for him.For the clothes we agreed that he would mainly wear woman stuff in the summer when the girls are gone in vacation for 2 month and not in our city, so I get to get use to it, and the parents of the kids friends would not be in there to juge or kids. He still get to wear woman night gown to bed.Between that we had a 90 days job layoff for him after 30 years at the same job = its fix the people that will do the job took him to do is own job at the same place, it only cost him is 30 weeks (I don’t remember how you call that but when you stop working somewhere you get one week paid for every year you work there) yep bye byeDrama with my mom like normal.School dram with the kids.Got to be American now!So much emotion in less then 2 month.This weekend I pop.Couple week ago he told me someone try to add him in facebook and he thought he recognize the name so he talk to a person in his lbgt group and yes it was a children of that lady trying to get more friend.. so she was happy that he told her so she could talk to the boy and let him know it was not ok. So My husband told me that nothing wrong with that. Obviously I am having some emotional issu with all that BI situation so I ask him if he know any group for wife of Queer group for support and help. He said wow a woman in the group just talk about a group she opened. So he ask me if he could give my name so she send me a link to the group and I joined. Wow we all have our own problems right. Its good to see that other people have other problem or same problems. Anyway. This weekend a other lady ask to be friend on fb. I didn’t know the name so I ask him he said yea shes in my Queer group. So way does she want to be MY friend im not queer… SO of course imagine all the stuff passing in my head right now: what does she want? Does she want to tell me something my hubby talk about in the other group? Does she want to tell me something bad? He making dates n stuff? You know at that point my brain is over heating. So I accept her and send her this. =14.0ptHi , Julie Tom's wife here. I know your in a group with him and you go 3 days a week to the same live thing on fb. I am not sure of your intension. Can you specify? =14.0ptSorry if , I come out little aggressive but I don’t have energy for more drama in my life. If you have something to tell me then go for it.Oooo did I forget to SPECIFY hubby open fb 3 time a week to go look at 2 person talk about anything and goof around he put headset coz they talk bad) And I see him type coz it’s a live thing and he giggles so I was maaa at the beginning but realize it good for him. But He forgot to mension that a woman from her Queer group goes there now coz he alk about it n she meet him there. Oooo  yes and he add her to fb friends so now she can text him n chat or call I guess anytime. (but OBVIOUSLY im over reacting) no I don’t think he is a cheater but he does love to chat with people ANYwhere anytime at shoprite, at the mall . im walking and then I realize he is 20 feet away chatiing. Laughting,giggling smiling. Make me feel stupid,jealous,alone. I know what is a jealous relationship and I don’t want one, my ex husband was a cheater and its hard not to see the signs even tho I know my hubby don’t. HER answer was:=12.0ptHi Moi, BI is nothing more than a Facebook friend who is kind enough to listen to me complain about my life sometimes. There’s never been any boundaries crossed. Absolutely zero flirting. He thinks the world of you I can tell you that. He talks very positively about you and your marriage. 99% of what I know and it’s only about how much he loves you is because of a Facebook page I’m on that BI joined. So anyone who reads his comments knows. The radio show is just silly fun. I see your on that build me up babes page, I’ve really struggled with my mental health this year and like I told my boyfriend, the radio show is my way to forget for an hour and be juvenile and banter with the radio hosts. BIis a jokester and I am too. I am so sorry if this has caused you hurt or problems with BI. I have no intentions at all. I’m actually glad you asked me. Clearing the air is always a good thing.=12.0ptChat Conversation End=12.0pt =12.0ptI told her thank you I appreciate her answer.=12.0pt =12.0ptIt still make me feel Lied too coz we both got in the marriage with the ideas to talk and we do so why would he FORGET to tell me Ooo btw I add a woman from my LBGT group in my fb friends. And we talk every other day.=12.0pt =12.0ptThen in the same time I realise that woman is in the group for woman, same group wow. I told hubby I was gonna quit the group coz I don’t feel it is a safe place for me to chat now that that person know him n can either tell him what I write or use it for herself.=12.0pt =12.0ptHe just send me a text telling me he deleted all his friends fb. I told him its not that he had friends that bug me but that he add her in the messenger part, text,pictures,chat,even call anytime now.I do realize if he want to chat he can find ways he is a guru in computer.=12.0pt I feel alone in the United stats. He has no family here. I don’t have family I can talk to My mom is a critical ,racist , you gain weight, your bigger kind a person has she push the hamburger plate in front of me(wow can’t find any good words to put) But Hubby always been there for me he push the dragon away when we go visit my 2 older kids (that don’t want to see there g ma anymore) You wonder why I still see her coz I can’t afford hotel 3 days once a month to go see my kids that I miss every day of my life. So we go sleep at my mom and that’s why I put up with her bullying.Hubby is the smartess man I know he mean the world to me and all my kids too. I have no where to talk about this or anyone. I cant even go take a coffee to a friend I most be evil after 14 years in usa I didn’t make a friend. I am shy person. Everybody too busy going thruw there life.For couple month I think I was in a depression I was tired all the time n didn’t care about been in pijamas or not. Didn’t want to go out or move from the coach. I feet better now but now I want to vomit ,I don’t like drama. Im tired of all the secret  but I don’t feel the need to yell it on the top of the house or make blue purple n pink banner infront of the house. I want everybody to feel good. I said everybody not only other me too. I feel selfish. I have to be careful what I say (I didn’t think I was saying anything bad) but she or he is not good for many people now I have to think to ask them before? How blizzard sometimes. But I guess that’s the new world right. I don’t know what else to right I think I got pretty deep in it. Maybe too much info im sorry. But thank you for reading me. I have tears in my eyes n a heart hurting. I feel alone.If you have something positive to say please go for it. Negative please pass your way. <!--
 

Last edited by Moi (May 6, 2019 11:22 am)