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1 of 1- OnMyOwnTwoFeet
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Exhausted by being the “villain”
I am almost too tired from it all to write this. I am just so tired of being painted as the villain, and my husband posing as victim. It happens again and again and again. I guess I cannot say it is because he is gay in denial, but it sure seems that way. ALmost every conversation we have now feels like an emotional beating. And specially because he says how negative I am, and how I will not forgive, and I am scary or dominant. I hate it. It is not me! I am not a mean person. The problem is not that we “need to communicate better.” Or whatever he says it is.
Last edited by OnMyOwnTwoFeet (April 29, 2019 12:13 am)
- walkbymyself
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Re: Exhausted by being the “villain”
I'm so sorry he's doing this to you, OMO2F. I get the same BS here. We are trying to work with a mediator in our divorce, and when he starts going on about all the ways he managed our finances so that his "separate" (premarital) property was able to grow, while he allocated expenses to our community property -- I lose my temper. I just can't listen to it. And, like you, I end up being the "problem" here as if any sane human would have any other reaction.
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
- Mimi
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Re: Exhausted by being the “villain”
OnMyOwnTwoFeet wrote:
I am almost too tired from it all to write this. I am just so tired of being painted as the villain, and my husband posing as victim. It happens again and again and again. I guess I cannot say it is because he is gay in denial, but it sure seems that way. ALmost every conversation we have now feels like an emotional beating. And specially because he says how negative I am, and how I will not forgive, and I am scary or dominant. I hate it. It is not me! I am not a mean person. The problem is not that we “need to communicate better.” Or whatever he says it is.
Onmytwofeet
I could’ve wrote this word by word. I know exactly how you feel. My GIDH also thinks he is the victim because I don’t want to accept him for who he is. As if I’m his mother!! You’re not a mean person. You are hurt. You are negative because of what has happened to you. He is complaining that you need to communicate better? Well he should’ve communicated better about his sexuality.
- StraightSpouse1979
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Re: Exhausted by being the “villain”
I got a little bit of this when my husband was having issues getting the estrogen injections he wanted with his insurances. After two days of this conversation I said while I can appreciate the frustration you have maybe I am not the best person to discuss this with and that in turn was I was baiting him by talking with him about it and I don't care about him and he thought I did because I would finally discuss this. Well, he started the conversation I know this isn't easy to discuss with you but...and I tried for almost two days of this but it was getting me so anxious I had to finally stop the conversation. SO I don't get any credit for TRYING to discuss this I get shot down for no longer wishing to discuss it