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1 - Mrs Beardsley
- Member
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Hopeless
I am still married, over 30 yrs, and it's been over 8 years since the first inkling that GIDH was not who I'd always believed he was. The closest he's ever come to disclosure is saying he may be Bi if anything and that was only one time. I've never "posted" in my life and don't know what else to say. It is good (you know what I mean) to know that there are others like me out there, but I sure do wish none of us were going through this.
( and i still don't know how to correct the user name but I guess that is not too important)
Last edited by Mrs Bearsdley (February 3, 2019 9:38 pm)
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: Hopeless
Welcome to our group!
I'm sorry you feel hopeless. Maybe joining this family and sharing your feelings will help you feel better.
What do you feel hopeless? Have you resigned yourself to remaining married to him? Have you stopped trying to communicate with him about this? Do you not see any opportunity for happiness in your future?
I can help you with your username - what would you like it to be? you can PM me if you wish or reply here.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Abby
- Member
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Re: Hopeless
I think she may just mean the typo in Beardsley
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: Hopeless
ah.. Got it! Sorry.. I'm a little "slow" sometimes.. I didn't even notice the letters being transposed.
I'll fix.
You might need to lot out and then log back in with the new "corrected" spelling.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- walkbymyself
- Member
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Re: Hopeless
Mrs. B, I had a similar experience -- I figured out my husband had same sex attractions years ago, when I accidentally came across some stuff he'd been downloading on his computer. At the time, I didn't say anything because I didn't think he was actually cheating on me.
I think that was probably around maybe 2008 or 2009, and then in 2017 I made another accidental discovery that made me realize he'd been cheating. At that point, I swallowed my pride and started doing actual investigation.
Can I ask, if you've had your suspicions for eight years, is there something particular that has prompted you to come here?
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
- Mrs Beardsley
- Member
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Re: Hopeless
To Walkbymyself, finally just got to the point of needing to get into a community of others in my same situation; like you, it's been a series of discoveries here too
- •
Thread Starter- walkbymyself
- Member
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Re: Hopeless
Right, I see. It can feel very, very lonely. In 20/20 hindsight, I do wish I'd taken more initiative way back then. The years when I was in the dark, were years when I was sullen, short-tempered, and resentful. They were also my daughter's teenage years, and my moods formed her opinion of me. I didn't realize what a burden I would be undertaking, thinking that I could overlook my husband's lack of attraction for me without any impact on my disposition.
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
- MMartin
- Member
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Re: Hopeless
walkbymyself wrote:
Right, I see. It can feel very, very lonely. In 20/20 hindsight, I do wish I'd taken more initiative way back then. The years when I was in the dark, were years when I was sullen, short-tempered, and resentful. They were also my daughter's teenage years, and my moods formed her opinion of me. I didn't realize what a burden I would be undertaking, thinking that I could overlook my husband's lack of attraction for me without any impact on my disposition.
Wow, walk by myself, this is a real eye opener. You made me think about my baby daughter, who this situation is making me be sometimes in comparison to who I truly am and want to share with her.
Thank you for sharing that, I needed to read it. I hope you and your daughter continue to have opportunities to know each other, we all change, and so do circumstances. I am sure she knows how much you care about her.
- walkbymyself
- Member
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Re: Hopeless
Thanks, MMartin. I know she knows how much I love her; I become very dogmatic on the issue of how much information to share with kids. I am in favor of being truthful, albeit tactful. In part this is because the situation is so off-the-charts insane to begin with. I think that my daughter is happier knowing the truth, even though it was shocking in the beginning. But, as I said, I do wish I hadn't put her through those miserable years. There doesn't seem to be an instruction manual for us!
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.