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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
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    January 21, 2019 11:25 am  #1

    Straightwife111
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    Husbands “man friend” hurt by messages

    Hello
    I have known my husband is gay and right now we are floating.
    It’s like he still pretends in front of everyone his not and most days I even pretend his not.
    Tonight I seen this guy messaged him and they have been on and off for months.
    I can’t say im not hurt. The other guy only said how he would like to rip my husbands clothes off and even though I know my husband is gay at the same time I was felt like vomiting.
    I don’t know how I go day to day pretending like everything is normal then things like that seem to smack me in the face.

    Another thing that annoys me is he always says joking remarks to his friends or my brother that they are homos or fags and then when his off the phone I’m like how can you even say that?
    It annoys me he try’s to make them look bad but yet he is gay.

    Please understand this process hasn’t been easy for me. I know some of there husband said they were gay or messaging men they would leave but I haven’t been able to do that yet.

     

    January 21, 2019 11:47 am  #2

    StrongerThanIKnew
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    Re: Husbands “man friend” hurt by messages

    So, he has admitted to you that he is gay? Was this before or after you were married? How long have you known? But he is closeted to everyone else but you and his boyfriend(s)?

    Sorry for all the questions. I'm just trying to get a better picture of your situation.

    I know this is hard, but knowing what you know, what is it you want to do? How can we help you?

     

    January 21, 2019 1:06 pm  #3

    Ellexoh_nz
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    Re: Husbands “man friend” hurt by messages

    Straightwife111 wrote:

    ......I don’t know how I go day to day pretending like everything is normal then things like that seem to smack me in the face........
    Please understand this process hasn’t been easy for me. I know some of there husband said they were gay or messaging men they would leave but I haven’t been able to do that yet.

    Straightwife....you have come to the right place! As far as not knowing  how you " go day to day pretending like everything is normal ".....Why should you pretend. Things are not normal! If you have somebody you can trust with your confidence....tell them. You're keeping his secret....and it's hurting you. 

    Many of us are still caught in the web of this, each of us has our own journey through it, and there is no timeline to get to the other side. 
     

    KIA KAHA                       
     

    January 22, 2019 10:31 pm  #4

    MMartin
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    Re: Husbands “man friend” hurt by messages

    Hello straight wife. I am with Ellexoh in that you have to do things on your own time, this process is nothing but easy in deed, and our life situations are all unique.
    Protect yourself from things that can not be unheard, unread or unseen, knowing he is gay doesn’t make them less painful or make you less vulnerable. Certain images, sentences, etcetera can echo in our minds and hurt and traumatize us for a long time. Some boundaries to his gay interactions may help you feel better.

    Sending good vibes your way.

     

     

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