My Bi-Wife and I have been together for just over 24 years, and married for 21 years. I was 19 and she was 18 and still in high school when we started dating. We have a 16 year old son who is almost done with high school. 

I found out about my wife's SSA about 12 years into our relationship. I figured out from a social media post back in the MySpace days that my wife had experimented with a woman. I really wasn't upset about, and I jokingly asked my wife about the post a few days later. My wife admitted that she had been experimenting with a girl from high school for the first month or so when we started dating, and my wife assured me that it was a one time thing and she stopped it when we "got serious". Still not upset, I joked with my wife that I knew who she had experimented with. My wife very confidently told me that there was no way that I could know. I smiled at her and said, "It was Liz". My wife was shocked that i had put the pieces together. Liz was a mutual friend of ours from high school who was an outspoken Bisexual girl who bragged she could steal anyone's girlfriend. I laughed, my wife laughed and I never gave it much thought after that. About a year after that I saw a different woman grab my wife at a New Years party and make out with my wife. My wife looked totally surprised by it, and again assured me that she didn't know why "Andrea" had done that. I took what my wife said at face value and moved on with life again.

About 3 years later and 16 years into our relationship, my wife told me that she had met a long lost childhood friend and fellow Army brat on Facebook. My wife asked if i would be okay with her meeting up with "Ivy" an hour away from where we lived so she could catch up. I told her it was fine with me. My wife started a close relationship with her "childhood friend". About 10 months later my wife asked for a divorce, didn't give me any other reason than she wasn't happy. For about 5 years my wife had a very up-and-down friendship with "Ivy", during that time my wife and I finally agreed to stay together and work on our marriage. My wife and I decided to relocate to another state and my wife's "friendship" with Ivy came to an abrupt and dramatic end. About a month after we moved I found a text from Ivy and I figured out my had been having an affair with "Ivy" for the 5 years they were "friends". Stupid me. I called a friend to talk about what I had just found out, and he informed me of things he had seen my wife doing with a male co-worker at around the same time of the New Years party where I had seen my wife make out with "Andrea". I was NOT a happy camper at this point. My wife never admitted to anything to well after I had caught her. About 3 and a half years after I found out about "Ivy", my wife finally admitted to meeting "Ivy" through a Woman Seeking Woman ad my wife had placed in the CL personals ads.

So here we are almost 4 years post disclosure making a MOM work. Things have improved a great deal and I am confident we will beat the odds. We have both time in individual counseling, and start couples counseling soon.

 

Last edited by powerlineman (January 15, 2019 9:22 pm)