OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- butterfly
- New member
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Looking for a counselor
I feel that I need to find a counselor who can help me sort through my losses, pain, hurts, grief, anger, etc. I've spoken with a couple people but am having a hard time finding someone who is trained in understanding this particular situation and how best to help and counsel a straight spouse. I wanted to see if anyone has any input in finding a counselor or any advise that has helped you in finding someone.
Thank you,
- StrongerThanIKnew
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Re: Looking for a counselor
Hi butterfly, the right counselor can make a huge difference.
Google "betrayal trauma" and see if it fits your situation. If it does, you will need trauma counseling as much (if not more) than grief counseling.
It would be my suggestion to find one who works off a trauma model and not a codependency model for working through all of this. A good place to start is the APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) website. There are also groups that have online counseling and group support. Unfortunately, these groups deal with spouses of sex/porn addicts, but the trauma is the same. I have reached out to a couple of these groups in hopes that they would start groups for people with gay or trans spouses, but so far none of them have.
Good luck.
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: Looking for a counselor
Hi butterfly,
Welcome to our group.
You are right that most councelors don't have the training or experience or understanding of our situations to provide the help we need. There are some out there though!
The Straight Spouse Network doesn't make recommendations for any direct professional services, however we can help you find other Str8 spouses in your area who can make personal recommendations.
Feel free to reach out to connect with one of our local face to face groups. Our triage line can connect you with a local group leader and that leader can ask the local group for ideas to pass on to you.
Connecting with the local face to face group can be unbelievably helpful for you as well. I strongly recommend it.
Let me know how else we can help.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.