OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
- jkc1214
- Member
Offline
Re: Got tested for STD's today.
MomOfFour wrote:
“I hope you told the person doing the testing that your husband was the reason you were getting the test.”
—-
“ The person responsible for you having to have the tests...was with you when you had them? Why would you want that?
—-
I had HIM explain why I needed to be tested.
Actually, it was the first faint signs of genuine emotion I have seen from him. I think it made it real.
Wow...good for you!!!! That's one way to make him realize what he's done.
- MomOfFour
- Member
Offline
Re: Got tested for STD's today.
Thanks, JKC - believe me, it was only a brief bit of “sunlight” in an otherwise very bad month.
I can’t believe this man I thought was so kind, so perfect, so considerate - has become such a Jekyll and Hyde character. I have not, in 28 years of marriage, gone 3 weeks without kissing him or waking up next to him - and it is hard for me to get past missing what I thought we had.,
—-////
“Respect MO4”
Thanks, EllXOh - but I haven’t always been so stoic since this happened. Part of me thinks it is all some nightmare, and he will say this was all a crazy mistake that didn’t even happen. I find myself - especially over holiday - longing for the “perfect marriage” I thought we had. Part of me thinks the man I thought he was will re-emerge. Now I don’t think that guy ever really existed.
((We will all get through this - this board has been a lifesaver for me - our stories are all so very similar!!!!))
Last edited by MomOfFour (November 25, 2018 12:40 am)
- OutofHisCloset
- Member
Offline
Re: Got tested for STD's today.
MoF,
I second Ellexoh's and jkc's "good for you" and "respect."
And, as well, the feeling that what you're experiencing is some kind of temporary disruption and nightmare, and he'll wake up. It's part of the "this can't be happening!", "this can't be real!:, "he's NEVER been this person so this can't be who he is!" phase. All throughout the divorce process, and still even now, I catch myself thinking "surely he'll realize..." Especially with the closeted I think element is strong, because we really have never seen that person before, and to live with that dual knowledge while they continue in the closet is a kind of continual gaslighting of our reality. It's why not seeming them and telling others the truth is so necessary for our healing.