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November 24, 2018 10:41 am  #11


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

I got tested last Sunday and my spouse accompanied me. It was more emotional for me than I expected.  Thankfully clear.

 

November 24, 2018 10:47 am  #12


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

I hope you told the person doing the testing that your husband was the reason you were getting the test.

 

November 24, 2018 11:28 am  #13


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

These people are professionals.  My guess is they already know, the moment you walk in the office, why you're there and whose responsibility this is.


Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
 

November 24, 2018 12:18 pm  #14


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

MomOfFour wrote:

I got tested last Sunday and my spouse accompanied me. It was more emotional for me than I expected.  Thankfully clear.

 
The person responsible for you having to have the tests...was with you when you had them? Why would you want that?


KIA KAHA                       
 

November 24, 2018 12:22 pm  #15


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

OutofHisCloset wrote:

I hope you told the person doing the testing that your husband was the reason you were getting the test.

I told my doctor that my husband had cheated. I left out the part about him being gay. Didn't want to open up that can of worms just yet. My doctor is awesome and I did not have to push for the testing at all. She knew I needed peace of mind and she gave it to me with no judgement whatsoever. She encouraged me to get some individual counseling along with the marriage counseling. 

     Thread Starter
 

November 24, 2018 12:25 pm  #16


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

MomOfFour wrote:

I got tested last Sunday and my spouse accompanied me. It was more emotional for me than I expected. Thankfully clear.

I'm very glad to hear your testing was negative too. It is a huge relief. Did you feel like it helped to have your husband there?  I definitely did not want my husband with me at my appointment. But we each should do what works for us.

     Thread Starter
 

November 24, 2018 5:47 pm  #17


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

I have a lab order from my doctor for AIDS, HepC and STD's. But I haven't gone yet. I am going on Monday. As for counseling. He refused. I have tried to gain counseling, but my HMO is taking forever, as they do not consider counseling for the discovery of a ITC, GH, unless I state that I am in crisis, or one of us in in danger. So it's been 5 weeks and still no counselor recommendation. 

I did some reading, case studies and research papers and have read that counseling while still together, as we are, is sometimes counterproductive...and it seems to be the case from some of the thread commenters. However I plan on counseling when I move, for myself - to help in recovering ME, getting my confidence and self-esteem in order so I can make a strong recovery and fresh start. The papers I read, all said that this appeared to be more beneficial - counseling after parting for the straight spouse. Crossing fingers on getting those lab tests and praying for positive results (although my ITC, in-denial husband states he has not had sex outside of our marriage). Harrumph.

 

November 24, 2018 8:40 pm  #18


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

EliciousATL wrote:

I have a lab order from my doctor for AIDS, HepC and STD's. But I haven't gone yet. I am going on Monday. As for counseling. He refused. I have tried to gain counseling, but my HMO is taking forever, as they do not consider counseling for the discovery of a ITC, GH, unless I state that I am in crisis, or one of us in in danger. So it's been 5 weeks and still no counselor recommendation. 

I would imagine if you presented to your insurance company/doctor that you are suffering from depression and anxiety you would not have as much trouble getting it covered. Depression is dangerous no matter what has caused it. 

It seems crazy that counseling can be counterproductive. I'm really hoping the one we go to will help my GIDH see the truth of the matter. He continues, most of the time, to talk to me as if everything is totally normal. He's decorating the house for Christmas and is shocked that I don't feel like participating. Really? My whole world is falling apart and I'm scared about where and how I'm going to live and support my kids and you want me to celebrate the Christmas season? It's unbelievable to me.
 

     Thread Starter
 

November 24, 2018 8:43 pm  #19


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

“I hope you told the person doing the testing that your husband was the reason you were getting the test.”
—-
“ The person responsible for you having to have the tests...was with you when you had them? Why would you want that?
—-

I had HIM explain why I needed to be tested.
Actually, it was the first faint signs of genuine emotion I have seen from him.  I think it made it real.

Last edited by MomOfFour (November 24, 2018 8:48 pm)

 

November 24, 2018 8:54 pm  #20


Re: Got tested for STD's today.

MomOfFour wrote:

.....I had HIM explain why I needed to be tested.
Actually, it was the first faint signs of genuine emotion I have seen from him. I think it made it real.

Respect MO4 
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

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