Although I'm sure at this point that my husband is gay, he keeps saying he's just "curious" and his attraction to men only represents about 1% of who he really is. I think that's just BS but I am not sure how to proceed at this point. I need some support and/or advice is anyone is willing to read my story.

We've been married for almost 22 years. We were friends for about a year before we started dating long distance. He was pretty happy with the long distance thing until after a year and a half I pushed for him to move closer as I couldn't move during nursing school. (when we started dating he told me he wanted to relocate here even before we got together) He moved to my city and we got engaged about a month later. About 8 years and 3 kids into our marriage, I found he had left open a web page of a site that helps men arrange hookups with other men. I can't remember the name. He swore up and down it wasn't his account, he had been helping a customer with something. (He works in IT) He told me at that time that he had been confused about his sexuality as a younger man due to some sexual abuse as a kid. Said he'd had sex with a man once but that it had felt wrong and that the whole time he kept thinking "this isn't what I really want" At that time, I had 3 young children and I chose to stay and buried the whole thing for their sake and because my mother lived in an inlaw apartment and  I had NO idea how we would divorce and not leave her homeless. Wrong choice for sure but I can't go back and  change it now. 

Sex with my husband has never been "bad" but it's never been amazing either. Our very first time he had a lot of trouble maintaining an erection. I attributed that to nerves and a lack of experience on his part. I had been in 2 previous long term relationships and so he knew I was more experienced. I thought this just made him nervous. Things got better and we had a normal sex life for many years. He has always been very aware of my needs, per se and has always made sure I wasn't left hanging. In the beginning he initiated quite a bit. We had dry spells here and there as many couples do while raising young children.  About 6 years ago, things started to go south. He started having a lot of trouble with impotence. He said he had no problem with masturbation but had trouble with me "it's all psychological" We got through that with some sex therapy techniques that I had researched and things were better for a short while and then got worse again. At this point, he has not initiated in almost 4 years and the last 2 times that I did initiate, he said some hurtful things acting like I was a sex fiend or something for wanting to be intimate with my husband. It's been 2 years now since we've had any sexual contact at all. He has said that his testosterone level is very low but refuses to try any treatments for that or try any ED meds. "My friend told me they are horrible" We have spent the last couple years living as roommates who share children. We don't do anything together anymore as just the two of us. He stays up super late and comes to bed after I've gone to sleep most nights. 

2 weeks ago he had a sex dream and he was quite loud and talkative during his dream. It was clear he was with a man in his dream and that he was enjoying it a lot more then he ever enjoyed sex with me. At that point, everything came unburied and I confronted him. This time he did admit that the account I had seen years ago was his saying "but I wasn't going to do anything, I just was curious about it" He swears he wants to stay married and was berating himself for not being a good enough husband and thinks that the problem is that we stopped watching our tv shows together in the evenings because he "was playing my stupid video games" So now, he comes to bed super early to watch tv with me and seems to think that's going to solve our problems. I had told him that he needed to figure out who he is and what he wants and that his interest in men is not a curiosity or a 1% thing. He's done nothing that I can see to help figure himself out. He's been extra helpful around the house and as I said, comes to bed earlier. 

At this point, I want out. I can't spend the rest of my life having my very soul sucked out of me anymore. I'm 50 years old and can't spend another 20+ years living a lie. I'd rather be alone. My problem is my youngest daughter is having some severe depression and anxiety and I'm not sure how she would handle a divorce and a move to a new town and the revelation that her father is gay. I have kicked around the idea of moving into the inlaw apartment until she graduates from high school in 3 years. (My mother passed away last year) It would give me some freedom and sort of ease my children into the end of my marriage.

Anyone have any thoughts?