I too got the same box of crap missing the things I wanted.  My lawyer called it "The Last FU" and yes, it is a childish way to hurt your feelings.  Don't let him see that he has gotten under your skin when you remind him to send the things he "forgot". It maybe a way for him to prolong his control and contact in your life, if some of the items are things you can replace in time, let them go.  Its not worth the hassle and the continued contact.  

I am sorry about the "friends" too.  Most likely he has whined and has gotten their sympathy and blamed it all on you and/or he has been bad-mouthing you all along behind your back.  It is a common trait here and seems part of the "Playbook".  It hurts a lot, but continue moving forward and focus on the positives and those things you can control.  You really do find out who your loyal friends are through this process. 

Everyone is right ... this is a classic FU move on his part.  Don't rise to the bait.  The other items sound worth getting back, particularly the violin.  Is there any way you can go back for them yourself, possibly with the help of a friend?  Expecting him to return them is probably unrealistic.  You may well end up with a box of broken dishes and a very damaged violin.  Don't expect decency from him ever ... it only sets you up for more disappointment and anger.  As for the "friends" ... they are not your friends and thus what they think, do or say means absolutely nothing to you.  Repeat that as many times as needed.  Life is short so spend your time worrying about people and things that actually add value and joy to your life.

It's definitely a narcissistic trait, and has nothing to do with TGT. He's the most selfish person I've ever met, to the point of evil. I was just too blind to see that for a while.

I'm going to wait a few days to make a decision. I know if I contact him now I'll blow up. That'll just make things worse. Rob, you're so right, the cost is me hurting, not him. I truly don't think he'd care if I died.

Thanks everyone for your input. I'm going to give myself a few days and see how I feel.

Selfrenewal,

Glad to hear..I take small things like finding  a lost item and having a good day with gratitude.  I thank God and pray and look forward to the next day. Always forward.

Sounds like you made the right decision about your stuff..it's only stuff.  I went out and brought several things that the ex took...not worth asking for them back..so not worth it..so not worth it on many levels.