Rob, I am not ignoring you - have been busy as needed to get some asbestos removed from my flat.
What I am thinking is that attack is the best form of defence and if the ex can also transfer some guilt feelings then they can move on and somehow believe that we are the nasty, unsympathetic and intolerant people rather than them. You are getting angry and know all this is unfair and that is a healthy reaction on your part. I was told that I used to be nice and was despicable to want a divorce as my ex was still the same person but happier. I also have two children so cannot run for the hills and not look back. I was told that if my ex had no contact I would ruin their lives and my ex wanted to be totally involved and was prepared to fight for that. No one was in the slightest bit bothered about my feelings or future. Keep going with the renovations and hopefully you will soon be on the road to recovery.  Our stories do have similarities - like total betrayal and then abuse as though we caused the problem. We just happen to be straight and had no idea our partners were not, It is grossly unfair and out of order for them to act so despicably towards us. You have been a lifeline at a time when I was feeling so desperate and beginning to sink without trace, thank you.  
Now going for a walk with my best friend to the biscuit shop.

I understand the pain of a deceitful marriage regarding sexuality. The grief is profoundly and emotionally paralyzing. I'm glad to hear that you have a good therapist.

Also, JK, your symptoms of PTSD are understandable. They are real and can be long lasting, but you can heal from them. My greatest shock was the deceit for over 30 years and the enormity of lies, being evasive, and dodging my questions for twenty-five years. I knew something was deeply wrong, but often love excuses bad behavior. I was so duped but the person I loved and trusted most in life. My was the long-term repeated lied, but your circumstances of expecting a child and having to endure what you did are so extreme.  Then people celebrate "the coming out" and ignore the collateral damage. You were honest and did not choose a mixed orientation marriage.  I hope you find continued healing from such a magnitude of loss, one that is so incredibly devastating even though people ignore it like its a hang nail or a small snag in life. That response is also traumatic. (((Hugs)))

Betsy, understanding is wonderful, thank you and I see that you really understand as you too have had your trust betrayed. Maybe I 'needed' to have a really low point now in order to scream and try to heal myself. It also made me search out SSN and this is the first time i have truly been heard. Bless you.