Update....saw the 2nd lawyer yesterday(free consult) and basically said the same as the first lawyer...worse case scenario which I can definitely live with is that my partner is entitled to all the furniture he's purchased(which is everything except my bedroom set) and possibly reclaim the diamond ring(which I hoped to sell to help pay for the friggin roof I now need!) bc it was for the intention of marrying....so what!  All the financial investments he put in this house for repairs, updates and renovations are "gifts"....it was his idea and yes, his money but they are considered gifts.  Financially, I'm sitting decent but will have to RETURN to work part time(I retired a few years and enjoy a VERY active lifestyle which is shattered bc of him) to carry the rest of my household bills that the GID is presently paying for.  Next step is the counselor I have appt tomorrow.  I have a list of all this emotional roller coastering I've been experiencing in dealing with this B.S.  Lots of anger, sprinkling of the denial still there, mourning over what I thought I had and the list goes on.  I hope she is equipped to guide me through all this...I'm more concerned to learn why and how to deal with the co dependency involved and to NOT continue any patterns!!!

R&L,

Good steps forward..doing what needs to be done.  These are the cards our spouses handed us.  We walk forward in faith.

Thanx everyone for your support!
 Dixie.....yes, I'm NOT giving up this ring quite yet.  I'd like selling it and paying part of the roof bill expense something I've done on my own....I agree that the ring was a promise from HIM to commit to this relationship but  all he's done is sabotage everything with his deceit, lying, betrayal and you know the rest of the list of B.S. they have put us through.  Ironically, he and I are doing all the things we usually DO through out the day so nothing looks out of order(even though he was a little suspicious when I go to my bedroom for awhile sometimes to check these posts) It gets real difficult bc we do so much during the day with sports etc so I find myself looking at him, wondering STILL how could he have done TGT while risking this lifestyle but then quickly realizing all "this lifestyle" was his cover up and a nice soft place to hide and fall....yup, still in disbelief and even wonder when the time comes, if I can pull this off.  As mentioned, I'm seeing the counselor tomorrow so hope to get through this quick sand of emotions and stay out on top long enough to regain my power and strength to overcome.