The butterfly part reminds me of a song by Canadian artist Rita MacNeil (sadly no longer with us). Let's see how well this Youtube link button works ...

 

Well I haven't posted for a while now...so here is an update as I am lying in bed unable to sleep...
I have taken some steps forward emotionally. I have been busy, been out there, been telling people, been making my own plans, been seeking & accepting support, been talking...I feel stronger, more myself. I can hold my head up high. I can even joke about what has happened.
I feel good about myself. I know I have a happy future ahead, even if I don't know how it will look.
I will love & be loved again...and it will be real next time.
My problems now are mainly practical & financial, and, most importantly, are to see my children through all of this.
My husband moved out, he has since made a few visits to see the children. But they see him drifting away. He has become unreliable. He shuts down his feelings. They don't see the dad they had always known & loved. He is acting differently. He has become selfish & detached. He even lies to them. He complains to them that I am being unreasonable & demanding. Then he complains that none of us ask him how he is. It is like he has had a personality transplant!
Our house is falling apart around me with so many unfinished jobs...electrics, plumbing, leaking roof. I ask him for some help with this. He resents this & refuses to help. He blames other people for the lack of action. The thing is...he is a builder. He runs a company with 30 odd employees. And he can't even send somebody out. Most of my money is in that company too.
I packed some of his clothes in bags for him...he only took his favourite clothes with him when he moved out. I want the bedroom back as my own. He complains to our children about this.
He has junk filling up our house & garage. He was a bit of a horder. Now he refuses to help us clear this
out.
He has ignored friends attempts to see him. He has cut himself off. The only advice he gets comes from his new partner who also left his wife & kids.
He tells the kids he is happy & it is his time to be selfish.
Well I know he will not be happy...But I will!
He is pushing me into a corner and I fear that I shall have to take everything legal. He gives me no choice.
My children are now disallusioned with him and about to cut contact. A week ago I was urging them not to. now I can see their point of view & I won't fight for him to still a See them. They are young adults and they can see situation for what it is.
I am sad...but more than that I am just so bloody angry!
Being gay and coming out shouldn't ha e to involve a whole change of personality. I just don't recognise him any more.
There is crap to deal with but beyond that lies my future...a good one. I am surviving....I am growing.
I am free.