Hello.  I am beginning the process of divorce with my husband, who has come out as gay.  K gave my story under the post Gay And Divorcing, under Support.  Anyway, he came out to me and as far as I know, he has never been involved with anyone.  He has joined the support group Q Christian Network.  For almost a year, he chats online, texts, and talks on the phone to people.  He hasn’t done this recently, but for a man who never likes talking in the phone, he spent a lot of time everyday, with the door closed, and music on, talking to a “friend.”  He has had many buddies and friends he chats with for a few years now.  He would never tell them about me, just that they were a buddy from college or something.  Years ago he didn’t do this.  I would know who his friends were.  We have been disconnected for a long time now, so maybe he always did this but I didn’t know about it.  Except he didn’t spend hours on the phone.  As I walked past his “man cave” one night, I overheard him talking about Portland, and I got the gist that his friend was from Oregon.  He has been looking for jobs in Portland.  He was offered a job with a huge pay cut.  I asked why he would do such a thing.  He said he needed a fresh start and he has friends there.  When I asked what friend, I was told it was none of my business.  Mean for someone who wants to remain friends with me!  Anyway, this led me to ask if he was seeing someone, and he said “so what if I am.”  I told him he should t before the divorce is final, and he told me that we are separated and not really married anymore in his eyes, so he can do what he wants.  He has been better lately and I haven’t heard him on the phone.  I have asked him not to date anyone until the divorce is final.  He has agreed.  I just don’t know how much to trust him.  I am wondering if he has been involved with someone.  I know ultimately it won’t make any difference.  I am speculating here.  What do y’all think?  Thanks.