My personal experience is that the “bi” is giving you a ton of crap so he can manipulate you into validating his choice to cheat.

Since I'm not BI i can't really give you the answer you are looking for.  I don't know what it's like to be bisexual. 

I can tell you as a straight man and someone who has read hundreds of these stories I believe "BI" is used incorrectly in most cases.  I think most gay men (and lesbian women - like my ex) use the term BI as a transitory stage on the road to coming out.  Being Bi means that you are attracted to and can be satisfied by either party.  This means that you are still fulfilled by your wife.  By saying this it removes the major part of the guilt that they carry about lying to their partner.  Our society seems to think that being Bi or Bi-curious is acceptable.  There aren't usually negative thoughts around this. 

But I think it's extremely rare to actually be BI.  

If he says he needs someone else of his same gender to satisfy him, then I don't think he is actually Bi.  I think he's a liar trying to manipulate you. 

Just to flip the narrative a little bit..  What if you were a brunette woman and he said he needed a blond woman to satisfy him and wanted your permission to go out and find a blond to have sex with.   Or maybe a woman of a different height or body type or ethnic background or age.  Would you be ok with that?   Hell no!. right?   He already has a woman that he's satisfied with and one that he's promised himself for life.  Being BI should mean he is fulfilled by both..  like a blond woman or a brunette woman..  so it's not ok for him to go find another person when he already has what should satisfy him.    But the truth is...  if he's looking for someone else, that means he isn't satisfied with what he has. 

He's gay.. he isn't attracted to women.  He pretended to be.  He tried to convince himself he could be.  He wants the world to think he is.  He still might have sex with you just because it's sex.  But it's not what he truly desires.  

Phoenix... I agree. They call themselves Bi until they get used to being out. When they are comfortable with saying Bi they can then admit they are as Gay as the Rainbow!

I agree with Steve. The question here isn’t if they’re truly bi - it’s whether they’re a liar.

I have a best friend who is a bi female, she is honest with everyone she dates. She likes her women to be buxom and her men to be manly. She is totally trustworthy and the best friend in real life that I’ve had through all of this. Her only advice to me was to get out and stay out.

Last edited by Duped (August 3, 2018 6:24 pm)

If anyone here remembers Cameron (gay man who had been married and who used to post off and on); he said that his experiences and research had him believing that true bi is extremely rare and that the overwhelming majority of men who claim to be bi are actually gay.  My former spouse has never admitted that he is gay, but at one time he did tell me that he thought everybody was a little bi.  I think he was trying to give himself a little room in case he ever needed to explain his behavior.  He was also one who as Steve noted, wanted to have his cake and eat it to.  That was his overall nature and is the best descriptor I can think of for his general character.