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1 of 1- Kathyd
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Shock ?
I'm just curious if anyone else here still thinks that the shock comes back periodically? I know this sounds strange but for long periods time (sometimes days), I can just lay here and stare into space and chain smoke. I have never smoked this much in my life. The only time I feel I'm able to move is when i need to go out and get more cigarettes. I had quit for years but I started that fateful night when I looked at his phone.
WTF
- gonzo2000
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Re: Shock ?
I have never smoked, but I do just lay in bed and stare into space. Mostly, I wonder what I could have done differently. And I cry and feel sorry for myself. I hate living alone. Hate cleaning my house, which has become cluttered and messy. Digging out the weeds from the lawn helps me feel better. And working, even though it is not what I went to university & college to do... I think you got me when I am feeling morose, sorry.
- Kathyd
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Re: Shock ?
It's a morose day Gonzo. I'm trying to get through another Holiday here in the US. They're hell. So many memories. Seems I've been paralyzed for days.
WTF
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Thread Starter- Shattered
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Re: Shock ?
It's all still relatively new for me, but the shock and just the overwhelming WTF of it all hits me like a ton of bricks right when I think I'm firmly at the next phase of 'ok'.
- Tamiam
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Re: Shock ?
Kathyd,
That "shock" response you're having is quite common among us here. Some people call it a trauma response. I have an emotional reaction sometimes as well. Sometimes it's just being stuck in frozen or staring off into space, while I'm reliving some memory. It's awful. There is help to be had with trauma-based therapy. It's helped my kids a lot.
It's hard to even function some days. And I totally agree with you, holidays are the worst! To combat that, we have been trying some new things for holidays. Making new memories. It's been pretty succesful for my kids and I.
Last edited by Tamiam (July 5, 2018 10:05 am)
- walkbymyself
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Re: Shock ?
gonzo2000 wrote:
I have never smoked, but I do just lay in bed and stare into space. Mostly, I wonder what I could have done differently. And I cry and feel sorry for myself. I hate living alone. Hate cleaning my house, which has become cluttered and messy. Digging out the weeds from the lawn helps me feel better. And working, even though it is not what I went to university & college to do... I think you got me when I am feeling morose, sorry.
For me, caring for my house was always a labor of love. I find now I just look at it and think "Why bother? I'm out of this marriage, why should I pour more love into this house?"
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
- Rob
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Re: Shock ?
kathyd, all
We all know the shock well. Its your body and mind responding to the whole situation. Since its coming from a spouse our mind finds it hard to grasp that they are hurting us.. Seek help if it paralyzes you too long. Cry or stare at the ceiling but try to give it a finite amount of time. Then get up and do something to get your mind off it. I have a house project and even though I thought why bother with the house, what does it matter, it really wasn't about the project itself so much as getting my mind off of TGT. Our mind needs a break sometimes and things that require some simple repetitive concentration are helpful sometimes. I also did word find and crossword puzzles. Its not a solution to TGT so much as a mental break from it. And you all deserve a break.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7