OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- Alice in reality
- New member
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Confused and concerned
I dunno what's going on, I found this site through reddit after searching for similar situations. I think my partner has just cheated on me with a man, he recently became friends with another guy on Facebook. This was a couple days ago, then last night he got invited over for a bit. I had reservations about this and told him them, he reassured me and we even made plans to do something after this meet up. He went to the other guys house around 9pm and then asked if I could come get him around 2am when I got there I asked where he was and he told me hold on. I waited around half an hour then sent him a text saying have a good night, I'm going home. After that I felt disrespected and low on his priority list, anyway almost 2 hours after I got back home I got a text message from him saying not to over react, that he had just need to talk to the guy. At this point, I'm wondering did my partner cheat?
It feels that way even if he didnt, the lack of care and respect he displayed last night. Any advice would be appreciated thank you.
- Daryl
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Re: Confused and concerned
That would be a red flag in any relationship. Have you seen any other worrisome signs? If you read the experiences here there's often a large set of commonalities. Lack of passion or it diminishing over time. Frequent absences, sometimes for work. Mystery friends, locked phones that are never out of sight.
“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
- Lena
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Re: Confused and concerned
It would be a red flag for me too.
Going to newly met friend's house for the most of the night and making you wait for additional half hour.
In any relationship is a red flag, even straight relationship.
You should be his PRIORITY as you said.
Go with your guts.
What was that important that when he asked you to come over to pick him up in the middle of the night, he was not ready to leave and asked you to hold on outside for some more time in the middle of the night? You do not do this to your love one.
If there is nothing to hide, he could ask you to come along or come inside when you came to pick him up since he was not ready to leave...
I had similar situations: my husband spending too much time with particular friend and I made him to choose. I did not suspect anything yet. That friend was married with kids and I even met them.
I was happy he had buddy, but I wanted him to understand priority.
I thought he chose me, but instead he hid himself better and chose time for his meetings when I did not suspect as I learned much much later.
Last edited by Lena (May 21, 2018 3:56 pm)
- phoenix
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Re: Confused and concerned
Welcome Alice,
It's hard for us to give an opinion on whether or not he is gay, but it sounds like we have agreement that the way he treated you is not OK and probably a sign that he's not the right guy for you.
In a committed romantic relationship there should be full honesty and transparency as well as priority for your significant other over other casual friends. It doesn't sound like you are getting these important qualities from him. Perhaps it's time to move forward and find a better match?
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Duped
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Re: Confused and concerned
All of that checking and detective work is utterly exhausting.
Better to just leave in my opinion, he sounds like a typical ass, gay or not. You’re better off out.