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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
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  •  » Coping with the fall out on my children

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    May 9, 2018 4:41 pm  #11

    Lena
    Member

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    Re: Coping with the fall out on my children

    Rob,
    I do agree with you that kids need both patents, of course there are extreme situations when it can be more harm than benefit.
    My problem is different nature.
    It took gay spouses in the closet decades to come out or they were exposed, but they do not apply the same rules towards people around them. They expect us STRAIGHT Spouses and kids to accept their new life and choices overnight when it took them forever to accept themselves.

     

    May 9, 2018 5:55 pm  #12

    Tamiam
    Member

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    Re: Coping with the fall out on my children

    Wow, this topic - how to handle the fallout on the children - 

    This is one of the hardest things for me.  My whole-hearted advice would be to listen to the children.  Mine are 17, 15, 15, 12, and 8.  The older 3 have basically no contact with their dad.   If they want to see him, I allow it.  The younger two still see him.  They like his partner.  They say that dad is nicer when he is there.  (I am the queen of smile and support through my broken heart.)  All 5 kids know that dad is gay.  There is no way for us that keeping more secrets could have been healthy.  No regrets about telling them.  They are ok with dad being gay, just not ok with dad lying and hurting and blaming.  

    Love, understanding, and support to you all, 
    Tam

     

     

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