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1 of 1- LetsBHonest
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What he said
He said he made it all up. The c suck, the taking it anally. It was Fantasy not real so he hadn’t cheated. I want a divorce but now it’s like I lost The ammunition of knowing what I know because he says I don’t know or remember it right. So confused. Help please
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: What he said
LetsBeHonest...telling you that you don't know or you're not remembering it right....is your husband/partner gaslighting you. Trying to make light of how you're feeling, what you're thinking
Do you have anybody to discuss this with besides him? a doctor....a friend?
KIA KAHA
- walkbymyself
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Re: What he said
LetsBHonest wrote:
He said he made it all up. The c suck, the taking it anally. It was Fantasy not real so he hadn’t cheated. I want a divorce but now it’s like I lost The ammunition of knowing what I know because he says I don’t know or remember it right. So confused. Help please
You're not confused. And, you don't need his approval to get a divorce. You don't need for him to admit a thing. You only need to know it for yourself, and I'll say this much from personal experience: if you have a choice of listening to your woman's intuition, or listening to a guy who's been lying to you ... listen to your woman's intuition. As Nicky Haley said, "With all due respect, I don't get confused." Neither do you.
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
- Roo
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Re: What he said
What Duped said....they LIE! They manipulate you into thinking YOU are the crazy one.
My husband told me it was only 1 guy...I know for a fact that it is not true. He doesn't know I know he is hooking up still with strange men. Yet he'll come home and want to have sex with ME. Is that still considered gaslighting??
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
- Roo
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Re: What he said
Some of the things that these 'men' post on this website are pretty disgusting. Lots and lots of married men carrying on like this...it just amazes me. I would never guess there'd be so many out there.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
- LetsBHonest
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Re: What he said
I rely am full of gratitude for the knowing that others have similar complicated problems to mine. I wonder what you do to untwist your head when he twists it. Because I get clear and make forward step and then he takes me back again with doubts. Doubts that he's gay (BUT HE IS) and doubts that he is mean (BUT HE IS) and doubts that I'm okay (BUT I AM) and doubts that Ill lose the kids (WHY?) and doubts about what he did to me and the kids (BUT HE DID DO THOSE THINGS) and doubts that I will die broke (MAYBE TRUE). How did you ladies who replied get to the other side through with someone always pulling you back and down into the cess-pool of his crazy hiding ways and tricking everybody.
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Thread Starter- StrongerThanIKnew
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Re: What he said
I rely am full of gratitude for the knowing that others have similar complicated problems to mine. I wonder what you do to untwist your head when he twists it. .... How did you ladies who replied get to the other side through with someone always pulling you back and down into the cess-pool of his crazy hiding ways and tricking everybody.
I didn't respond earlier, and I don't know if it has been like this for the others. However, I have found that once I recognized his actions for what they truly are, he became very predictable.For example, we are dealing with an issue now with our county due to some forms he had filled out incorrectly. When he did it, I told him that wasn't right, but he insisted it was. He even said the attorney said it was, so I let it go. Well, sure enough, now we (because both of our names are still on the property) are having to deal with the consequences of his actions. When we got it, a friend and I started saying that my STBX was going to throw me under the bus, and guess what? I was right - kind of. He was clear that it was my problem because it is my residence not his, and that I have to take care of it. Now, because I knew what to expect from him, I was prepared, and I have taken care of it.
So, basically, you get to a point where you know what they will do, and you can plan for it. And if you see it coming, it is harder for them to drag you back into it.
Stay Strong!