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CindyS, you are fortunate in that you got an excellent counselor. Hard news, but realistic and real, about your spouse.
I suspect, however, you may want some counseling later, for yourself, to heal from this ordreal.
I understand why you don't wish to give up your home, and why. I gave up mine, because I think it is the right thing for me ultimately, but in the short run it is causing me a huge amount of pain, and it is tearing me up to see him with the product of all my work and attention. 35 years of marriage; over 25 in that house. And now I am living in a rental that although decent is more like a place I would have moved into at the start of my career, and not at the end!
Take care of yourself.
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Out, thanks for responding. There are no clear cut answers in this process. I feel my H has taken so much from me already, and I really don’t want to fight over material possessions. I really wish I could just have my happy life back. For now, I am praying counseling gets him the help, he needs. And I am just not ready to make any decisions regarding divorce , should we or not? But I do believe separation is a good option for us now, I know I need space, and he needs to figure himself out, too. He is agreeable to a separation, we both need a break from each other. Our conversations are no longer beneficial or productive. He’s got to figure his life out and I have to do the same. It’s hard though cause I was always his caretaker, and I can’t help him thru this mess. I know this sounds weird but I will always love him, and I want him to be happy , too, whether we stay together or not.