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1 of 1- Count of Monte Cristo
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5 months in.
Well
It is still hard! Still a joint account as our first house needs to sell. She is spending more I would say. Eating out a lot. I do all of the bills still. Oh and all the outside jobs still!!! Anyways at the stage where life needs to move on. She sent thank you emails to my parents for helping work on the old house. A thank you email to my sister in law saying thanks for a birthday party for my daughter. She made sure to include that there are 2 sides to a divorce. I haven't seen her in 2 months and communicate with texts and emails. It is all so sad. Moved close to family to have it torn apart. Sad. Harder around the holidays of course. I get angry then sad then a bit depressed, then hit the gym, a nice looking woman smiles at me and makes my day. The highs and lows continue. Off for a hike with a cousin! What a crazy boat to be in. Honestly! This will take a long time to deal with.
- Rob
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Re: 5 months in.
Count,
"..She made sure to include that there are 2 sides to a divorce. "..
Yeah I stopped going to my last therapist when I was told that...the therapist basically had not been listening to anything I was saying.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- lily
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Re: 5 months in.
that sounds pretty good, Count - it's bound to take time. you're doing all the right things.
A lot of what you describe is inevitable with a young family breaking up. It's a lot of pain and disruption and so it's good to acknowledge why it's so necessary - that it is taking you all out of an unhappy marriage - you will be able to support your children better as individual parents than together and in the sort of unhappiness and confusion that just keeps getting worse not better with time.
now you can look forward to a more relaxed mind and finger's crossed future happiness.
- Count of Monte Cristo
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Re: 5 months in.
Funny how it goes hey? I totally understand now that once she had kids and realized this wasn't the life for her things went down hill. Lots of great times, but serious frustrations having a wife that wasn't into a marriage. Into facebook, her music, her work, live concerts, writing for a magazine and volunteering for everything. Escaping the fact she was married to a man. Another nearly sleepless night. All of this over a person that never loved me. Sorry to say but I essentially will never be talking to her much, or being around her. I am built with very strong Morales and ethics and you just don't do this to a person. I was beyond loyal and faithful and am proud of who I am. She can go live her knew life and I cant say I hope the best for her, but I hope the best for my kids.
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Thread Starter- lily
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Re: 5 months in.
I agree Count - you just don't do this to a person. we all know that including them - it's so selfish it's cruel.
I look back to the days I was separating - maybe we can be friends once the toxic marriage aspect is cleaned up but now I realise I don't want to be acquaintances let alone friends.
- Rob
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Re: 5 months in.
Yeah...I maintain no contact to this day but when I do have contact its still with an angry paranoid person who jumps at anything to show I'm at at some kind of fault...usually something about the kids. Its really bizarre..like dealing with a child.
For me it's like getting a phone call from a murderer in prison telling me how I did not pick up milk for the kids but she would have but can't.
Nope ...no contact.. We don't have to listen to or debate ethics with immoral people... I hear the words but I recognize the source and they have no credibility or validity except to hurt. My reply is crickets..nothing..no reply..nothing to feed the monster or validate the hurtful words even hit there mark. No contact....I remind everyone including myself.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Count of Monte Cristo
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Re: 5 months in.
Yes! Great words! I am struggling a little lately. Just sorry, but no I lived a true life and she didn't and to be honest it is a huge mess! Don't contact my family. They are really sad and hurt by it to be honest. My dad who has given us vehicles, worked on our place and so on. My mom took us on a Disney cruise, flew us to maui, and lent us $165,000 to get into a house here!!!!! So lucky. I am stressed at it all, and I am very upset. I lost great in laws. Great. She said she just wanted to please others. Well in the end she has really hurt a lot of people. No. No contact. Simple as that.
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