I hope it helps on some level to know that you're not the only one.  I wish I could tell you what to do about the kids.  My gut says they are old enough and deserve the truth.  Chances are, since you're the one that filed, he's probably told them that it was your idea.  I hope not. 

I had a long gap like that in between my discoveries too.  He had me convinced it was a pop up for around seven or eight years before I found it all over the place again.  It will never cease to amaze me how many new people pop up all the time on this forum.  It's sad, but at the same time it proves to me that we weren't targets that were simply taken advantage of.  It shows me that this is a common practice among gay in denial spouses and it makes me feel stronger that I broke away and left his craziness behind.  If not me, it would have been someone else.  I think there are many more than people realize out there. 

Keep posting and reading.  You might even have a laugh or two reading some of the posts.  We have a pretty feisty bunch that can crack a good joke or two.  3 1/2 years post divorce and I still come here to post and read and continue gaining strength. 

For me, the more I talked about it the more it helped.  I started with a close friend and then eventually a few more. 

a part of me wants him to live in the closet of self-loathing and shame; and a part of me wants him to admit it.  he has made me feel undesirable for so so long.  i was sexually abused as a child and never dated.  he was the first man, the only one I have been with (if you don't count my abuser.  it took place for 2yrs. age 5-7).  He knew about my abuse and the endless hours I spent in therapy. 

My kids would be fine if they knew.  They are very open-minded.  But I don't want them to get caught in the middle of he said/she said.  I don't want them to wonder who to believe.  I will tell them one day.  I donated every item, engagement ring, wedding band, every jewelry; he ever gave me to a nonprofit that supports the LGBT community. 

I was the perfect candidate for him to hide behind.  men have used me my entire life.  At 48, I am finally free.  thank you for your comment and support.

I have been advocate for LGBT community.  I just didn't see it in my own home, in my own bed.   And I believed him. 

Lost,
So sorry..we're about the same age...it's hard to process that after so many years they betray us.  I'm not against gay people but rather spouses that decide after 30 years to destroy their straight partner with tgt.

Somehow we have to move forward and put tgt behind us.  I know I could not have tried any harder..

Betrayal...it's difficult to deal with and get on with life. My GIDXH still hasn't told his immediate family about the reason we split 3 yrs ago. I keep waiting for him to disclose and be real, but he is now back further in the closet than when he told me about his 17-25 yr relationship with a gay friend of ours. My entire 29 yr marriage was a sham, scam, farce. All the memories gone. My adult children know the truth and even though they are 'open' minded, they do not want to disclose the reason for our divorce to their friends. It is still a stigma. I have said that Pride parades make the public feel that our society is changing and more accepting, but in reality...we have a long way to go. Although this is my story now, a Str8 spouse of a bi\gay man, I so want to get beyond that label and get on with living. At 60 time is ticking away! I believe that I have to write my own story and not let the GIDXH be in control of my life now.