walkbymyself wrote:

Oh sweetie, please hang in there.  There's no easy out, just try taking it one day at a time.

I know this is not going to be easy....one day at a time IS all I can do. But this is so cruel. We're both unhappy, 
both want to stay together....I don't trust him, he doesn't fully understand why....I can feel myself edging towards 
....something....recognition of the person I don't want to be, and gathering strength for what comes next.

walkbymyself wrote:

Today feels like my day to be slowly crumbling.

 

Omg.....I've been to the beach and have just seen this. The 'crumbling' days can get pretty tough...
especially when something totally random sets me off, and I'm not strong enough to be together enough 
to see/feel/know it's happening. Often...I just have to get through it...knowing I've got to be strong because I'm 
doing this for the most part....by myself
Take yourself somewhere you can be by yourself.....or 
Go to a place where there are people, and noise,  to take your mind off the thoughts in your head.

Hugs
 

Roo wrote:

I battle these demons every day, the 'what-if's' and the 'what do I do now's'. These feelings never go away, they are on my mind 24/7. You would think after a year of finding out about his "bisexuality" I would know what to do. I know all our stories are different but yet they are the same. I don't want to be a broken person anymore. 

Fact is Roo....we're broken and will never be the same. We still deserve to BE whole, but now the ball is in our court, so to speak, and the strength is ours to find..within ourselves.
We've had the very base of all we believed to be true...
snatched from us like a bad magician pulling the cloth from under our table set with the crockery of our life, and 
it's all broken, in pieces, on the floor. 
So....on the floor amidst those broken pieces is where we must start. And it's us, you, me....who get to choose 
exactly what pieces we value enough to keep, to mend, to live with broken. To discard.

We can do it. I never thought, at 59, I'd be in this place, and every day that goes past brings me closer to 
the answer xx



 

Because, Ellexoh, he's trying to "hoover" you.  It's called love bombing.  He's frantic because you've been out of his orbit and getting a little perspective outside of the world he's made for you. Mine did this a year ago, when I started seeing a therapist and told him it was because living in his closet was stifling.  He said, "what can I do?" as if his sexualty and the way he was handling it weren't the problem, and I said, tongue in cheek, "flowers, chocolates, wine, and a house on the beach."  He said, I can't do the last, and the next day I had the other three in my office.  But it's not about you, and it's not because he loves you.  He trying to protect his closet. 
  And yes, I'm not supposed to be "lurking" on the "we can make this work" thread, but what you said struck such a chord with me.  

Last edited by OutofHisCloset (February 25, 2018 10:20 pm)