OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



February 21, 2018 2:00 pm  #11


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

P.S. - OoHC - I love the "The Devil himself can quote scripture" thing.  So true!!!

Kel


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

February 21, 2018 5:52 pm  #12


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

I haven't posted in awhile, but this Gary and Gary's Wife stuff has really hit a nerve. OOHC has said it best in my opinion. As I read Gary's posts, I began to see statements that raised red flags to myself. Describing himself as a kind guy (just ask anyone who knows him) was where he lost me. That was so "image management". I wanted to throw up. Just like I have wanted to throw up as I began coming out of the fog of  the narcissist in my own life. OOHC is so right when she says the realizations come "thick and fast".

 

February 21, 2018 8:22 pm  #13


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

yes, my ex is such a nice guy.  Everyone likes him.  People just casually absorb his venom and pass it on to his intended victim without a second thought, he's such a nice guy isn't he.  He turned my closest friends against me.  The sympathetic hug was replaced with what's wrong with being gay, nothing if you aren't married to him, he should have told me but he's not gay she insisted.  Not even realising how inconsistent that was.  

I applaud Jen for starting this thread independently of Gary - I don't know how to express it other than to say it feels like another turn of the screw, what Gary is saying about his wife.

 

February 22, 2018 1:03 pm  #14


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

JenS

Great post!  I call BS on Gary.  He is lying to us in the same way our spouses lied to us. He makes me want to puke. He is full of himself and so condescending in his attitude to all the straight spouses here. Who is he to say if we were loved or not?  He seems to need something from us. He is not here to support anyone. BS Gary. BS

Last edited by Goonnowgo (February 22, 2018 1:04 pm)

 

February 22, 2018 4:37 pm  #15


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

As with the other related thread, I think the tone of this has become negative and is no longer helpful to supporting straight spouses.  I won't lock this thread.. especially if Gary's wife does decide to come here.  But I ask that if anyone chooses to post again that we change the tone to more constructive and positive content. 

Thank you!


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

February 22, 2018 4:52 pm  #16


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

I think we should be free to respond how we feel. This isn’t school.

 

February 22, 2018 5:20 pm  #17


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

I appreciate the feedback.  This is not an echo chamber and I am not orchestrating anything behind the scenes.  I didn't lock the thread or censor any posts.  I simply shared my observation that the tone had become negative and bordering on attacking.  So I'm asking that we try to keep things positive and constructive.  

From the forum rules section:
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.


Please don't think that I have some personal quest to protect the gay men that come here.  I'm a straight spouse myself and carry similar wounds and pains as the group.  The service I attempt to provide is to keep the forum constructive and respectful as the bylaws describe.  This means occasionally I intervene in a way I feel best for the position of admin.. even if it goes against my own personal feelings, or potentially exposes me to criticism from the members.  

 


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

February 22, 2018 5:45 pm  #18


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

This site is full of individuals. Therefore if we don't post as individuals we're just being...sheep following a shepherd.

If "Gary" wasn't expecting the maelstrom he caused....he wouldn't have created an account....surely?


KIA KAHA                       
 

February 22, 2018 6:16 pm  #19


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

Deleted.

Last edited by Lynne (October 3, 2020 6:42 pm)

 

February 22, 2018 6:53 pm  #20


Re: Dear Gary's Wife

Dee wrote:

I find it quite curious that no mention was made of Sean’s posts and observations. Have you read them?

Are you asking me if I've read Sean's posts?   Are you referring to his history here?  If so, I find many similarities in what Sean and Gary have stated as their intent here on the board and I would have tried to avoid attacking posts directed at him in the same way. 

Edit*..  Wow.. I just figured out what you were referring to.  I hadn't read that.  My apologies to everyone for my miss.   Thanks for pointing this out to me. 
 

Last edited by phoenix (February 22, 2018 7:00 pm)


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum