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1 of 1- Cornfused
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Wife is dreaming
Reading posts here reminds me of how our case is different. My wife hasn’t fooled around or carried on with another woman. She’s just thinking about it; and already it’s breaking apart our marriage. That is, she served me with papers. Is this quite unusual? My wife is dreaming and pondering and imagining. She feels she is gay but how can one feel that way for sure if you haven’t tried it? She posted on her blog that she is gay. She asked that we stop our relations and was seeking to “renegotiate the marriage.” Apparently she liked the situation, being a stay-at-home mom, with many comforts and her needs met. Did she think I would agree to add to her privileges some sexual relationship with a woman? Or maybe she didn’t want to have any sex with anyone. She just wanted to dream about being gay and talk about it but not do it? Can you see why I’m confused here?
- Rob
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Re: Wife is dreaming
Cornfused,
It defies all logic but you know now not to be confused and what to expect. Our stories are sadly
similar. .I also was "served".
Yeah, my cruel raging now ex was a SATM.. this just added to her anger..ie.. you made me stay at home. Its all lies though...I did nothing of the sort..she never tried to get a job just blamed me.
It boggles the mind...she felt in her anger and hatred that hotel rooms with her girlfriend were an appropriate use of the family money. Its amazing how quickly she found a job when she realized my lawyer would not allow 0 for her salary and neither would the court. Didn't stop her from trying though..delusions ..surely the court would see how mistreated she was (sarcasm). Surely if she swore and threw things at me things would go her way...
Yes their sense of entitlement knows no bounds. Its hard to believe or comphrehend but if you read up on narcissism you'll realize they actually believe in their heads that world revolves around them.
I wager you treated your wife kindly..with love. It matters little now. Find yourself a good lawyer..one that specializes in divorce. .with high conflict divorces. Fight for your dignity and what you want.. my lezex thought she was entitled to everthing...that I would go live in a shelter somewhere (but keep the money coming). Inhumane and evil to a husband that was so kind to her..
So sorry..but we get it here.. you did nothing wrong. You are worthy of so much more..it's not what we deserve or signed up for. We should not have to accept such hurt from them ..it's not normal or what a person asks of someone they love.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Cornfused
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Re: Wife is dreaming
Rob, thanks for the answer. Yes, even a good friend of hers accused her of being narcissistic once. I couldn't argue about that.
My STBXW will find that the work world isn't kind and juggling kids, home, budget, work, meals, etc, will be a real chore. Non-stop it is! She has had it easy and comfortable.
But it's her own choice to throw me out. While the savings pays bills she'll think she has it made but reality will set in. Then her old car will let her down and an appliance will fail and she'll wonder, where's my knight to rescue me?
I'm sorry our little children will have to go through this. It isn't what I planned or wanted!
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Thread Starter- Rob
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Re: Wife is dreaming
Cornfused,
I hear you on the finances etc. Unfortunately in my state she's entitled to a living wage from me.
She has to work now sure..that is what she wanted. She made out quite well for someone that simply looked at her husband and said I want a divorce. Really my state is the state to be in if your a woman seeking divorce.
I'll say don't be surprised if she asks for your help later on with something.. these narcs have a talent for making things our problem even after divorce..ie if her car breaks she'll blame you.. with the kids she will definitely lean on you for transportation etc..especially when it conflicts with their new job.
No I'm seeing even after we're divorced and away from each other she's still a mean bully...still trying to get me to solve her problems. They didn't understand their marriage vows and they don't understand the word divorce.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Cornfused
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Re: Wife is dreaming
Rob, you're right about the "afterward." I can see that coming and will have to avoid it! We are planning first on doing the "bird's nest" living arrangement, where the children stay in the home and parents swap in and out to another place. This may work for a year or so but isn't the final answer. Regardless of what she wants to do, I'll want to find someone that loves me and that I can truly love and appreciate. I know that's not impossible!
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