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- OutofHisCloset
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
I was referring to Sam's comments on the statistics of those who successfully negotiate MOMs, those who leave right away, and those who leave after two (or is it three?) years. Probably a study done elsewhere.
- Roo
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
Good luck to you OOHC. It's been a little over a year for me since finding out. I'm struggling, really struggling with how to move forward and get out of this.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
Thanks, Roo, and I hope you will find your feet soon. Is there anything you can think of that we could help with? Or anyway we might help? (Kel is so much better at asking specific questions than I am.)
- •
Thread Starter- Roo
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
Honestly, I don't know what I need. I did put my information on a lawyer website that would put you in touch with an attorney and asked if I could get an email rather than a call. I got a call. The woman was incredibly rude when I said I couldn't talk now because my husband was on he way back to the office. She basically hung up on me. So.....I guess I'm going to start pulling them out of a hat.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
- Kel
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
Roo,
You don't need to talk to them that much on the phone. If you know the are a divorce lawyer, then call for a consult. Go in and speak with them. You will learn more than they do, trust me.
They don't need your life's story. They need to hear that you're divorcing, if you have children who are minors (due to needing a child custody agreement), and if you have property and money to split. They may ask specific questions about the ending of the relationship if it matters in your state. Where I live (in Illinois), none of that matters - it's a "no fault" state. We split things 50/50. There are usually percentages put into place for the parent paying child support (to the "residential" parent - the one whom the kids live with). It's a certain percentage of their pay. It won't matter if they cheated or if you did. There are typical ways to do things that you build off of (like visitation - typically every-other-weekend). Other things are more specific to you and your situation - joint property, inheritances, loans, etc. Generally speaking, going in for a consult will give you a LOT of the information to feel better about moving forward. Once you realize that the entire thing is not a complete crap shoot, you'll begin to see your own future more clearly. And then you can start making plans and moving forward one step at a time.
Best -
Kel
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
- Rob
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
Roo,
You're doing fine. Pick a law firm that specializes in divorce. Go in person to talk to them. See how much time they give you, how much interest they show.. are they empathetic or cold/disinterested. My lawyer I found through a work program but I could tell right away it was good fit based on the time he gave me. ..showed compassion toward my situation and offered not sympathy but practical advice..did not make me feel any of my questions were stupid. The fears a lawyer can allay are sometimes worth every penny of their large fees.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Lyonene
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Re: another one to add to the statistics
OOHC,
It's your time. Your time for peace of mind, happiness, new hopes and dreams. Your time to live your life for you for a change!