I've been going out with this guy for the last three years and he asked me to move in with him just recently.

I've always wondered weather or not his might be a gay or a bi. Our sex life has been never been great. There is almost no touching, kissing, etc. Many times he is unable to perform but claims that he is attracted to me when I ask him.

He is into the fitness and bodybuilding. At times, when we are out, he makes a comment about how some guy looks great. At times he talks about some random buff, attractive guy non-stop. One time he couldn't stop talking about some guy for days.Whenever we go out and see an attractive heterosexual couple, he stares at a man, not a woman.  He is very meticulous about his looks and spends almost an hour in a bathroom before we go out. He always asks me how he looks, how is his hair, his clothes looks like. He seems to follow male trends and knows lots about the latest male fashion. Every time when we see a movie with a buff guy in it, he makes a comment about how that guy looks great. For example, one time he said that Arnold Schwarzenegger has a body made for sculptures. He thinks that somebody needs to draw a paining of him in a buff. Straight men don't talk like that, do they? He never talks about other women. I asked him once about which female actresses or models he finds attractive, but he told me that he doesn't find any of them that attractive.

We didn't have sex for 7 month when we started dating. I practically "jumped" on him for our first time.

Another time when we were out in a restaurant, he went to a bathroom but when he came back, he was staring at a guy at another table. The other guy smiled at him. He told me that that guy checked him out at the bathroom and changed the subject.

He has a lot of older male friends that he hangs out with periodically. He introduces me to his other friends, but never to these company of his.

He was married once, but his wife left him after four moth of a marriage. He never had a girlfriend before her (he was in his mid 30th when he got married), in fact he hardly ever dated. At times I feel that he only goes out with me because his mother wants him to find a girlfriend/wife. He is very religious so it might also be a reason for him to stay in a closet. He seems to "show me off" when we are in public. Always tells to anybody that would listen that I am his girlfriend. He shows the affection in public by holding my hand, being very attentive and kissing me. In private, it's a whole other matter. He hardly notices me when we are alone, almost never listens to whatever I have to say, almost never kisses me. He spends hours on the internet in his house, sometimes locks the room when I am at his place. He claims that he is just checking his e-mails and that nothing sinister is going on but why lock the room in this case? He constantly checks his cell and hides it from me.

Am I wasting my time with him? What do you think?

Last edited by Shelly (January 16, 2018 7:19 pm)