Sex is very important, but it's not all that marriage is about. Yes, as Patty said, sex is about intimacy and I think intimacy is based on transparency and truth. Sex is designed to draw spouses together, not to mislead nor to masquerade. As mentioned above, my GIDX also made me out to be a harridan, something I know I'm not, something he has to pretend I am. I didn't have what the X wanted in my anatomy. That's what really angered him and frustrated him despite his need to hide behind my XX. My straight man calls me a "good woman", and I love my straight and the difference!

Less than a week ago, I confronted my husband about being gay. He admitted it. I had a bizarre feeling of relief. But as all of the lies were uncovered, it hurt so much. Over a year of sexual experimentation, and encounters with many people. Including saunas, threesomes, going into the woods, in our family car. And what finally brought it to light was that he fell in love with another man. Over 13 years of marriage, sex was rare, but rejection was daily. I suffer from major body image issues, and am currently struggling with depression. I have been for several years. I rage when I'm depressed, and I hate myself for it. Yesterday before he left for his lovers house, he told me that I was the reason he was leaving, because I emotionally abuse him. I just melted. Even though he trapped me in a 13 year marriage, under completely false pretences, it's MY fault?! If anyone is pointing fingers, it should be me! I will never know, but perhaps years of being in the closet with my husband is what gave me the depression in the first place. He was and is my best friend. He is the father of my two boys. I just don't understand.