OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
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* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Sean
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
Hi Duped. I don't believe I've been in a mixed-orientation-marriage (or "MOM") but who knows. Perhaps you have a different opinion. Here are the details: came out to my wife as gay (not bisexual) in May 2012; I slept with pretty much every gay man in my area starting from May 2012; we lived together as co-parents until separation in December 2014; followed by divorce in 2015. During our "limbo" stage, we no longer had sex, I never asked her to be part of a threesome, and completely ignored her pleas that we live as celibate roommates and co-parents until our youngest turned 18 (roughly 12 years post coming out). Perhaps this qualifies as a MOM because she was married to a gay man and I was married to a straight woman. I always considered MOMs to be more of a situation where both spouses consented to the relationship with the straight spouse fully accepting his/her partner's homosexuality. Your thoughts?
Last edited by Sean (December 12, 2017 4:44 pm)
- Duped
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
I think that’s about as convoluted an answer as all the ones I had from my ex!
Last edited by Duped (December 12, 2017 12:58 pm)
- Sean
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
How's this?
Q: It’s just that on that post you say you have no experience of a MOM?
A: Correct!
- Duped
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
It’s confusing because you were but we shall leave it there!
- phoenix
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
Sean wrote:
I always considered MOMs to be more of a situation where both spouses consented to the relationship with the straight spouse full accepting his/her partner's homosexuality. Your thoughts?
I think this is an important point to make.
I think for a couple to define their relationship as MOM, it would be necessary for both parties to have both knowledge and consent. Without BOTH knowledge and consent it is not a MOM marriage, but rather a faulty union defined by lies and cheating.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- lily
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
am I missing something, since when did MOM not stand for Mixed Orientation Marriage - surely it simply means that and doesn't have anything to say beyond that.
I consider myself to have been in a Mixed Orientation Marriage, or are you going to tell me I wasn't because I didn't know I was!
I don't understand why Sean is being so coy or why you want to redefine it's meaning. In your version no one is the wiser, it's become a 'faulty union' - comes with a definition of lies and cheating and Gay has been wiped out of the equation entirely!
- Sean
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
Thank you for sharing Lily and Phoenix. Duped got me thinking so here is my question: Q: Following disclosure of a spouse's homosexual attraction, does a marriage automatically become a mixed orientation marriage ("MOM") or is the relationship just in a form of "limbo" before separation and divorce? Does a MOM require both spouses to consent or is it automatic once a spouse admits to being gay? Thanks in advance for your input.
- Duped
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
That’s just semantics. MOM stands for mixed orientation marriage which anyone who is in one whether they know or not, is in one. Sean, you knew you were in a marriage of mixed orientation; my post was more about why you said you had no experience of one since you knew you were gay and that your marriage was between mixed orientations. Yes, I understand that your wife may feel she was in a straight marriage since she didn’t know your orientation like you did.
How to define an acronym is sidetracking, it’s just an acronym for a factual situation which is two people of mixed orientations in a marriage; some know and some sadly don’t until disclosure. They may then choose to consent to remain in the MOM.
- Sean
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Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions
'Sean, you knew you were in a marriage of mixed orientation; my post was more about why you said you had no experience of one since you knew you were gay and that your marriage was between mixed orientations.'
Agreed. I now see your point.