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1 - Scrupulous
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How is your Gaydar now?
Just curious. How have all of you (us) benefitted from our experiences on picking up the gaydar or radar of this secretive world?
I'll go first:
I've become a detective on everything pertaining to (or not..whatever... TRUST YOUR GUT!):
*A normal shopping trip turns to..'I wonder if this guy is cruising' since he's lingering around Macy's/Sears restroom
* Jog on the beach...'why is that guy walking in circles around that wall?'
* Crawlmart: 'Did those two guys just make eye contact for at least 3 seconds and suddenly meet in the 'HAT' section trying on different colours..wasn't there a 'hanky code' at one time?
* Did those 2 dudes do a formal nod? (Funny neither of them noticed the hot chick (s) decoys.
* Did that guy actually 'Back In' to that parking spot and wait........while checking his phone?
* Why is that guy putting one hand in his pocket and sticking his ass out? And why are so many other men doing the same?
* Dang that was fast. New code: "Do nothing". ....EXCEPT LIE
Call me crazy but these mofos are outta control and lovin life as they know it.
Ladies/Sista's/Menfolk/Straight spouse: Educate by observation..
I'ts a sick world goin down
We don't have to go down with it even if it tries to drag us!
Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face.
- Kel
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
My gaydar is fanTABulos now!
Kel
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
- phoenix
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
I suspect our experience makes us a little over-sensitive to being judgmental about others.
I realized this about myself and have been working on turning it down. I don't want my hurtful and negative experience with one lesbian to impact my interactions with the rest of the world. So I try not to judge people with whom I have no interaction. I have learned to just look another direction and think of something different. It helps keep me happier because I don't allow negative emotions into my mind and it keeps me from potentially being rude to others.
This journey is different for each of us of course. But if your judgment of others is bringing up negative emotions for yourself, I would encourage you to try to ignore others or look away and think of something different. *easier said than done right?
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Kel
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
I can't honestly say I've ever noticed little "signs" like you're mentioning. I just have very attuned gaydar now. I've told my brothers on several occasions that I thought my sister's husband was a little too eager for male body affirmation. That I think he'd be open to being with others - including men. They were like, "Kel - seriously? I think you think everyone is gay now." I was like, "Hey, you may think that, but whom else have I said such a thing about?" And you know what? I.WAS.RIGHT. He was sleeping with others - some of them men. My gaydar is dead on.
The only time it affected me was with this one guy I was dating years ago. He talked a ton about cooking, and when I went to his home, it was just..... TOO put together for a man. Everything was done in themes - his tiny bathroom, for instance, was done in old Hollywood glamour. He'd made floral arrangements for the walls in the living room. But the giant TV was in horrible condition - it essentially showed everything in shades of pink because something was broken. I couldn't care less about TV, and yet I found it very hard to watch it that way. He kept talking about how "perfect" I was - that my hair was so lustrous, and that my skin was so flawless. These are not things straight men say. They say, "You're pretty", and "Your skin's so soft". And they sure as hell don't make floral arrangements for their living room but don't care about the big flat screen. He may have been the straightest man on the planet, but I'll never know. I ran away too fast. And I'm NOT sorry I did.
Kel
Last edited by Kel (December 12, 2017 12:42 pm)
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
- Scrupulous
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
Oh I don't feel it as negitive..If anything it gives me a chuckle. Myself and some of my friends that are in the know make a game out of it when we are out... It's called find 'Waldo'.
Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face.
- •
Thread Starter- Scrupulous
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
Beyond the Ha Ha.
Like Kel it's a good thing. That intuitive tool is there for a reason..so now it's been honed with living the nightmare. I want no other human to suffer like that so I'm thankful I can gauge, hint and protect myself from a repeat of it.
Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face.
- •
Thread Starter- Count of Monte Cristo
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
Yup
I sure notice lesbians everywhere now. Not just the stereotypical look. Yup. All over. Even my wife smiling at this random lady a few weeks ago. I said. Wow. She looks like a lesbian! At the pool, at the donut shop. I think the gay spouse has no idea how much they hurt the straight side.
- lily
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
I'm not sure how much is don't know and how much is denial.
- majenco
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
I agree with Lilly, if they bothered to think about us at all of course they would “know” it hurts us. They just put it in a little box and shut it tight and go on their way making themselves feel better. We are not a priority and in some cases not even considered at all,
- Count of Monte Cristo
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Re: How is your Gaydar now?
Yes. We are not a priority or anything now. Or for a long time. Mine is looking at money now. And it won't be a pile. Glad I know who I am and haven't lived a fake life.