I know this thread was months ago but only justvreading it. This sounds all too familiar for me. My husband couldn't get a proper erection a lot of the time without oral or hand from me to get him going and then after he had got hard having intercourse I knew it was never as hard as what other men I'd been with and the passion just wasn't the same as other men I'd slept with  and he would loose his erection a lot of the time ,I've never ever been with a man before who was like this , but it didn't twig to me that he might be the other way , when I used to question him about it he would say oh I've always been like that , but after I found out about his gay activities it all fell into place . He is still in denial and will never ever come out as gay or even bi , he will meet another women I'm sure of that and live his whole life as a lie , although I'm hurt by it all the betrayal and just the fact that I can't believe this has happened to me ( married 3 years , been with him 6) I am so so glad I found out now and not in years to come and kicked him to the curb, the minute I found out he was no longer my husband and I knew I would never ever be with him again . It was very hard to do as I still loved him and was still very attracted to him but to know they are not attracted to you in the same way , well I just think I deserve someone who is. It's been 3 months now and I've only met up with him once for a talk because he begged me crying and pleading with me to not solitvwith him as he loved me bla bla bla and that was a big mistake because it put my hurt and upset back to the beginning again , but I still told him no way will I ever be with you again and I am divorcing you in 12 months.  I look forward to meeting somebody else when I'm ready and having a bloody great sex life after having the worse one I've ever had for 6 years , I look forward to sex with a man who wants to grab me and throw me on the bed with lust  and passion , I've missed that for the 6 years I've been with him , I think he was only really like that for the first few months and it wore off pretty quick . There is just a massive difference between a straight guy and a guy this way inclined, I know that now but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I'm glad I'm a suspicious person otherwise I'd have never found out and spent the rest of my life with someone who was betraying me from day one

Yes lots of our story's are the same. It was only when I joined this forum and started reading others story's and I thought oh my god these story's and the way there husbands have been is like a bloody mirror image. What I first found out was he had made appointment for gay massage and then I started digging and saw he'd been watching gay porn and sawxall the searches for gay stuff but he denied and said he'd just been twice but I didn't believe it and even if it was twice ( which is rubbish) it'd still be twice too many. I still don't really know what he has done but the stuff I saw was enough for me. It's so so hard because your brain doesn't want to believe it even though deep down you know .

I have had erectio  problems with my lesbian ex wife. Once its time for penetration he goes away. I still havent slept with another woman and its been 13 years. I may have to get my ex to visit but she may be too clingy.

Your 2 cents is pretty accurate iamthelorax.. thank you