Offline
Lily that post makes a lot of sense. Thank you. I am trying to find time to process through stuff and figure out things. It is just hard at times to do that because I am so confused and it just hurts. This experience for me feels like anytime I was rejected in a previous relationship or even with never feeling love or acceptance from my parents. Your analogy is so on point and I really appreciate you sharing.
Offline
I am not surprised you are confused. You want her but she doesn't want you, at least not in that intimate sexual corner of her psyche. At the same time, she hasn't up and left you. It's like a traffic light that keeps jumping between yellow and red, never green. Being in limbo sucks. Hang in there. There is a way through this although sometimes the first steps are small and hard to find.
Offline
I know too that a large amount of her issues with touch is she has a history of abuse and trauma.
Offline
Reading your posts it sounds like both of you have some (unfortunate) familiarity with emotional trauma. Your spouse is flinching from touch, for valid reasons. Meanwhile you are very sensitive to that lack of tactile bonding, also a valid feeling. Everyone's definition of personal space can be different and when that happens with a couple it can lead to a real ambiguity of feelings. Are either of you working on that aspect of your lives, apart or together?
Offline
Yes we are both going through our own trauma and emotional healing journey. Weather it be counseling or programs we are apart of. Personally I am going through something called Freedom Session it is an intensive 28 week program geared about dealing with the root of the pain not the symptom of it. Last night was really bad for me..spent a good amount of the night crying and feeling all the pain.